Empty nest, Yesterday in the park
So I created another argument in webinar last night, this time rudely, insistently interrupting the nonstop essence talkers. S hung up, after calling me a bookworm, as if to insult.
That’s three times this month I’ve made people dislike me. I’m not liking myself. I must be doing something wrong, which might prove to be movement towards the desired “goal” of objective conscience. My discomfort shows me I ain’t got that and that I’m not indifferent as I wish I was, should be.
Am I starving among my people? I sense that I want to cast them all aside, as my gal S has done, find some agreeable friends who like and. respect me. Am I being egocentric or truly not receiving what feeds my trogoautoegocratic process? I possibly could be suffering à la Parktdolg duty, which may coat the kjb, but it’s rough.
Thus do I dare ask you to rescue me, Lord, like Peter or Jonah, from sinking in this dark, tumultuous sea of self? Lord have mercy. Especially if these “lessons,” this friction, is my medicine. IJN
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