Wednesday, June 17, 2026

Murky pond yesterday


1-4-23, Ohio, near DJ

 Clearer today; this helps:

Lee van Laer subtract, Daily Five, today, The Goodness of  Being:

“Without making any special effort, I let go. 

I yield to the authority of the body,  and 

of its sensation of itself. 

An authority that belongs to it 

without interference. 


And in this way, 

I am already more directly in contact 

with this sensation of being. 


And as I reach the bottom of the breath, 

I invest myself in it. 


Every cell alive. 


It is as though I have reached the bottom 

of a deep pond 

with clear water. 


And I am resting there among the roots of lotus flowers 

who draw their nourishment from this place. 


There is earth below me 

water around me 

clarity within me and above me 


fed by sensation 

yet undisturbed by thought 


and from within this transparency 

I breathe in the great goodness of life itself 

giving thanks 

for the entire length of time it takes to breathe in, 

and giving thanks 

for the entire length of time it takes to breathe out. 


And in this way, 

the molecules in me are more aligned. 

More able to transmit the energies that flow into being. 


And so the light moves into the body, 

into its deepest places, 

singing, "Yes."


And it finds a home here. 

For there is a deposit of goodness and love 

already here at the root of the soul. 


And what the light brings in finds it,

and leaves some of itself behind 

in order to add to it. 


So that the whole body becomes more alive 

with the taste of this goodness of being.”

Tuesday, June 16, 2026

Lord have mercy

 

Buttercup

Send your peace. And thank you for you our obvious mercies

Monday, June 15, 2026

Unknown futures

I pic, off Eastern Promenade yesterday evening


Lee van Laer, Morning five sub stick today , I will be prepared

I begin here with a complete sensation of the whole body, 

every particle alive.

And this is the place that marks the division 

between the known and the unknown, 

for I can know this body and the sensation in it. 

But here at the beginning of this day, 

I cannot know what will take place in it, 

except as it occurs. ….

And so I lay a good foundation here 

so that in case the Lord should come 

I will be prepared 


Sunday, June 14, 2026

What’s eating…?

 

My 5 am Rhodies

  …Us?  Trogoautoegocrat. 

I’m resentful too. Lord help me manage better I pray IJN

Saturday, June 13, 2026

What can I say?


This year’s peonies. Will I see next year’s?

I’m really tired and disconnected. Jessi’s help me find my being. Keep me working. Make me kind. I am grateful. Such a beautiful world. Thinking of Monty and father often.   Help me run the race competently. IJN

Friday, June 12, 2026

Medical complaints

 

Photo by I on walk home today

I’ve been complaining about my cardiologist’s poor  bedside manner, with the caveat that I hope he’s a good diagnostician anyway. I got a phone call from one of his PA’s saying he wanted me to have iron infusions, suspecting a problem with my TSH although it looked to me like the number was in the right range and I can’t diagnose  I checked it out online and it means thyroid stimulating hormone test so although they didn’t say so they may suspect hyperthyroidism and I’m willing to try the iron infusions that they will prescribe though hopefully not iron pills. 

  Thank you Lord for good medical care in this country and era. 

Thursday, June 11, 2026

voluntary, voluptas, delight and will (voluntas),

 

Rain on windshield this am

Begin this rainy medical laden day. We shall see what it brings

Brought a meeting with the codfish doctor. Meaning he has a personality in bedside manner of that animal and that you mentioned it to his receptionist who said he’s not very friendly I can change if I want to, but I said no the rest of the staff is good and I only see him every five years anyway. I just hope he’s a good diagnostic to make up for his affect.  Profunct and insincere personified. Reminds me of that dumb athletic stripper forty years ago who’s dance routine consisted of running around the room in his G string and plucking dollars out of the women’s hands without actually dancing.