Mother lode

Sunday in the park

Though we suffer, we know You are present with us.  Quoting Lee 

Bless us everyone

Today in the park

Misery everywhere. Help us dig out, please 

Anna in web asked today, what do we expect in our relationship with God?  What a perfect question to ponder, first asking for Your participation. IJN

Lee’s  prayer, Inner Christianity Substack 10-21-25:

Lord,   

you have brought me into the glory of this great cosmos,   

infinite in nature,   

which is your creation 

and your love   

and your eternal light,   

and offered me this life freely 

and without commands 

in the midst of all that is   

that I may be.   

I therefore present myself 

and freely offer thee

all that I am of myself

for without thee.   

I am nothing.   

Teach me to surrender and be thine.   

Soften my heart towards all of creation.   

Help me to remember the goodness of this earth 

and the creatures on it   

and help me to search for the goodness 

in the hearts of all mankind 

and in my own heart.   

I know not how to do this by myself, 

but when you join me, 

I know it is possible.  

My prayer today, Lord. IJN

Redux

Good morning, Lord

Schoolyard today

Peaceful so far. Jesus protect our dear ones especially. 

Lee, Inner Christianity Substack, 10-31-25.:

Lord,

I sometimes experience such sweetness in me 

that I forget myself and all creatures 

and wish to dissolve right into thee. 

But when I want to seize it, Lord, 

you snatch it from me. 

Lord, what do you mean by this? 

If you would entice me, why do you take it from me? 

If you love me, why then do you flee me? 

Ah, Lord, 

you do this so that I may receive much from you. 

Lord, I cannot rest except in you, 

and I have no well-being save in you. 

May the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost help us thus to seek God, 

and also to find Him. 

Amen. 

Poor Noach!

 

Forty days and nights?!

Talk about an ungrateful son!  Midrash said Ham castrated dad when he was drunk to prevent a fourth inheritance rival! And Rabbi Gordon said we all have Noah in us, though not specifically for that. He also said US Congress confirmed nation’s foundation on the seven  Noahide laws, early in 20th c I think.  Well, well. Wonder what the Rabbi would say about the new wave of anti-semitism a decade after he passed?

   He also pointed out the double sided nature of  sacred/profane,  eg wine:  no Jewish celebration without it then the damage of alcoholism and drug  addictions  J  down the street was puffing a choking plume of skunkweed all the way across the street as Red and I walked: choke  choke!  And the greatest mitzvah, intimacy, is corrupted to prostitution; not till death do you part in US, but till divorce, do you part.

Remorse of conscience

 

Slide

Suffering the memory of my egregious sins and errors, internally, not confessing them aloud, provokes remorse. I hold human secrets, secret shame.I am taught that the blood of Jesus washes all my sins away, but I cannot let them go, ie feel relief of forgiveness.  Does that mean I don’t believe and thereby compound my sin?  Feels like a big yes.  Name it remorse of conscience. God may forgive me, but I won’t.  I clutch  the results of my past choices,  the kernel of personality. A tarbaby, wearing a painful sense of rejecting the great gift of God, not trusting a greater goodness than my own self, thereby compounding my Sin. I can only pray to that source, help please. I believe, help Thou my unbelief. 

   I heard the rebbes say Hashem valued Noahk as a righteous man for his time, not quire up to snuff, so he was punished while he lived so he wouldn’t need to be after he died. Rough paraphrase. Does it, can it comfort me? It leaves me with a punishing God who acknowledges mankind’s inherent evil and demands justice.  Din. Is that my real belief?  Is that what GIG intended to destroy?  

S at ER tonight, tightness in chest. Overwork, heart stress. Bedrest due to overactivity advised. So many questions raised.  I push them too hard. Do I really?  Cassandra.  Well, pray, God help her IJN

Prayer

Blending in, two days ago

 Lee van Laer, Inner Christianity Substack this morning,  A Practice of Prayer, re: M Eckhart Sermon12

When he says, I have chosen you, he means that when we pray, we enter a personal relationship with God, which God himself has called us to. He calls us to him. 

And he says, I have fed you. This means that the power and the energy, the sensation of God’s grace, flows into the body from heaven. 

And he says, I have stilled you. And this is the stillness that descends into being when we still ourselves for prayer. it is the same as the peace which passeth all understanding. And this is a stillness not just of the intellect, but of the entirety of our being, which becomes very, very still, and as it surrenders its movement, empties itself so that God may enter. 

And then he says, I have established you, which means that God’s presence becomes real within our bodies and reaches into the depths of our very soul.

And why is this done? 

Why does God touch us there when we enter a deep state of prayer? 

It is because we should go forth and bring forth fruit, and that our fruit should remain. 

That is to say, that the insemination of us by God’s good energy should put seed within us that bears fruit, the fruit of love and goodness, and that we should digest some of that food, that fruit, and bring it forth into life as a new fruit of its own, a fruit of goodness and grace.

So what he’s saying here is that we pray in order to receive not our own presence in God, but God’s presence in us, and that it is our duty to take that food in, that bliss, that sweetness, and to take it in as deeply into the tissue of our being as we can, and to let it propagate and bring forth good fruit, which we shall bring out into the ordinary world to share and to 

   •       •       •

ACTS 

Adoration 

Confession

Thanksgiving 

Confession

      •       •       •

Ask, and ye shall receive

      •.       •.       •      

Pater Noster, 1662 Book of Common Prayee

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done
in earth, as it is in heaven:
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil;
For thine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen

         •      •       •

Hebrew

Morning prayer, before arising:  Modeh Ani:

I offer thanks to You, living and eternal King, for You have mercifully restored my soul within me; Your faithfulness is great.

מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶֽיךָ מֶֽלֶךְ חַי וְקַיָּם, שֶׁהֶחֱזַֽרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁ

Shema: Cover your eyes with your right hand and say: Hear, O Israel, the L-rd is our G‑d, the L-rd is One. שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ יְהוָה אֶחָד׃ Recite the following verse in an undertone: Blessed be the name of the glory of His kingdom forever and ever. בָּרוּךְ שֵׁם כְּבוֹד מַלְכוּתוֹ לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד You shall love the L-rd your G‑d with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you today shall be upon your heart. You shall teach them thoroughly to your children, and you shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road, when you lie down and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be for a reminder between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates.       •   •    • Itadakimasu Gochisousama desu/deshita  וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל־נַפְשְׁךָ וּבְכָל־מְאֹדֶךָ׃ וְהָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם עַל־לְבָבֶךָ׃ וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְדִבַּרְתָּ בָּם בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ בְּבֵיתֶךָ וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ בַדֶּרֶךְ וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ וּבְקוּמֶךָ׃ וּקְשַׁרְתָּם לְאוֹת עַל־יָדֶךָ וְהָיוּ לְטֹטָפֹת בֵּין עֵינֶיךָ׃ וּכְתַבְתָּם עַל־מְזוּזֹת

    

                    

Thank God

 

Dear friend

Edited version 

  Not much to pray today. Feel rather empty, though grateful for Rabbi Gordon Chumas about Noach and Lee’s prayer. Also grateful to be more upbeat with A. Lord help me to navigate my relationship with DD appropriately. And not to offend S. IJN