High places

 

Little Kennesaw Mountain from big Kennesaw 4-3-14

High places are sacred places

One of my favorite places of my whole life

     Gird your loins, Nita used to say frequently. I miss her and Diane W, friends who have gone before me. I do so little these days; they helped me stay involved in life. And I am grateful for C who does the same with her daily visits in this last year or more.

     Lord I used to think I was good at making friends, but I don’t make efforts lately. I’ve stopped, eg, going or caring to go the RB church since cold snap, and I’m skipping PSC Friday encounters with live people; then there’s the rift with sis L.  No excuses. Just no interest. I should pray, help me change but not sure I want to.

     I will pray bless the ones who still live in my thoughts in all the ways you will. And forgive us all our debts as we forgive our debtors.  IJN

     Lee, quoting Orage, on learning to observe:

     “ It is desirable, to begin with, to have a few categories or questions into which to pour one’s observations. Let us choose the following: origin, history, relations, use and future.”

     “ At first, not only will you discover, to your surprise, both how much you know and how much you do not know, but the difference in feeling between observing, thinking, remembering, reasoning, imagination and fancy.”

Shadows

 

Yesterday

               When I walk, let me walk close to thee.

     Words fail me. Nothing to say:  to anybody about anything. Stillness or sleep or depression?  So I thought I was dis’d at a webinar last weekend developed a slow burn over a few days. Then it occurred to me that I’m reallyangry at myself for being truly speechless at these talk fests.

     I make no efforts , let alone super efforts.  Drowning in TV., that is, sleep. I know it changes my brain.  And so much real sleep. Lord help me live my life .  And I hear a similar malaise in I’s lyrics.  Lord heal his malaise. Guide him. IJN

Valentines

Thanks to festive neighbors 

Their displays are received by me as an act of love

God bless them

 

Today

 

View from Intermed yesterday

     Slept too much today. Did you get my walk in .  No inner work, no willingness. Really stupid dream about rap, singer, and sister D, hotel and spa.

Metanoia

Deer tracks?

       I ran hard and fast from D’s question last night, what is spirituality?  Well, I don’t like the word; seems so empty and noncommittal to me.  Our discussion connects to another D’s Monday reminder, (paraphrasing) happy is he who believes, happy is he who does not believe, woe to him in the middle.  Another pertinent aphorism came up yesterday, pouring from the empty into the void. 

       Our “conclusion” regarding the S question:  in Work, all is material, including God, the Absolute. So “an angel is a gd angel.”  Spirit is vibration, energy, electro/magnetic in the electric universe which has changed everything.  You have to grasp the Ray of Creation. And BP reminded us, spirit is breath, that which is inspired.

        This morning Lee vL posts Meister Eckhart sermon 7 wherein 

          “So that nothing remains be hidden in God that is not revealed to me, there must appear to me nothing like God, no form, for no form can reveal God’s nature or essence. So far as image or form remains, one will never be one with God. To be one with God, there must be no thing imagined or brought forth, so that nothing is hidden within being, that is not seen and at once cast out”

       Then Lee concludes, 

    “And above all, perhaps this particular passage reminds me of my own teacher, Betty Brown, who said to me near the end of her life, in a loving and confidential way—as she always did—

The things that we love the most are the first things that have got to go. 

Can I let myself go? 

Everything? 

This is a daunting prospect, and yet we are called to do so. 

For in the face of the Lord we are less than nothing, and all things we can know or might know become glory in that light. 

In Christ’s name we pray. 

Amen. 

Amen. 

Amen.”

    I announced about spirituality last night, I haven’t written that book yet, and all I can say is what others have already said.  (God help me. IJN)

     This is what it feels like not to know, not to trust self. Can’t then allow self to trust God but must plead frantically for presence of Holy Spirit to fill the void. I’m falling between the stools.

      If I see that’s where I am, then hope for change arises.  God help me.  Lord have mercy.

     

Help, Lord

Fresh snow last night

     Lord help us all. We need You, I suppose what I would tell myself is a working version of You. One I seemed to know well in youth and One solidified, to me, at least, in Lee vL’s post anyways. 

       I am not being my best self, and that makes me want to run to You, especially the You I think I used to know.   That may be a good thing, leading me to rely on You, my traditional You. To give up what I think I have learned about You and me?  Am I the Rich Young Man, told to give up all he owns and simply follow, only to turn away sorrowing, unwilling?  You don’t force us, we can only choose.  I guess I’m surprised at the number of times the choice comes up in a life. Which tells me it was likely never, yes, Lord.