Grant us thy good will

 

Portsmouth NH 8-7-2014

        Life is short, death is long. Each day plays out like a fishing line cast out and reeled back through the same waters, with only occasional snags to mar repetition. Lord have mercy. IJN

Thank You for Healing

  

And for helpers

All better almost

Staples out, no cast, sling optional 

Thank you, Lord, for another good day.

Long lasting

 

Y’s flowers aren’t giving up the ghost. 

Neither should we, tired as we are. High temp

57° today,  but it felt so chill and gray. I as such a grump this morning, packing pills.  The nurse was here to hear me, I’m ashamed to say.  PT also visited, arriveing as I departed for hair appointment with dear M. Her previous client left ultrasound delicious homemade treats— lemon pound cake, pb chip chocolate cookies, Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies—I want to remember them, and her (Aging silver blonde long pageboy with a red going for fuchsia side streak). M sent home a goodie bag for A and me. Little dog and I stopped at Chic Filet to bring home very agreeable lipped.  Then comfy nap time with Red.

Thank you, Lord for this life, IJN.

Busy day

Contrast: porch tracks

 Thank you, Lord, for the energy needed to complete all the new tasks I have.  Steward.  Thank you for sunshine and mild temperatures which seem to raise energy and decrease pain. IJN

Color

 

Self portrait in color?

     Be cheerful and praise the Lord. See the beauty of contrast, light and reflection. IJN

God help me

Vanitas

     I repeat.

     I feel like I have been rudely thrust into a world that is far too complicated. 

     I may exaggerate, if I say life has always been a struggle, not so joyful, not beautiful as I wish to declare it.  Is it a gift or a curse you give us at conception, Lord?  Should I even ask?

      I review in mind the personal calamities and breakdowns that mark my aging personally, especially recently.  I am also touched by news reports of murderous events, this time the hanging death of a teenage Iranian wrestler by his theocratic regime.  I feel my heart wring physically. I go numb. 

     Lord why?  You are sad, too, so can or will you do nought to help suffering humanity?  I want to plead to you,  “Rescue us!” But I don’t believe you will. Or that we can rescue ourselves, despite all the helpers and forces for good that I find all around me. I’m in the wilderness.  Death starts to look like a door out, if a cowardly one that leads me to abandons those I help. 

 

    Lord, if this is not despair I feel, it’s damn close to it. So again I can’t help crying, Omnipotent,  save me, Jesus help us, God have mercy,

An answer, a comfort, comes.  Lee van Lear, Daily Five, Substack today:

“ And I see that I am brought here in goodness, 

in life, and in being 
to own what takes place 
to earn my place in it 
and to assume the responsibility of being a living creature 
here in this solar system 

I can only recognize my responsibilities and duties 
by turning to the authority of every cell in my body 
and listening to their own vibration. 

For they have no doubt as to their purpose 
and yet I must bring more than this alone.

For no creature can be found by God unless it has doubt in it. 
And no man can find God 
without the doubt of everything that drives him forward through life. 

No woman can find God 
without the doubt that drives her forward through everyday life.
 
So we come together here in the unknown. 
All of us Uncertain. 
Questioning. 

Searching for a deeper and more spiritual connection 
to this energy that flows throughout the body— 

willing, perhaps, to accept the conditions of life itself. 

A place of the unknown, 
moving forward into the unknown
with only light and love to illuminate it in the end. ”

Spring has sprung

 

Thank you for our daily bread

And flowers

And sleepy little dogs

And healing husbands who

enjoy March Madness 

IJN