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Dog park again, Ssturday

 Be in this day with us. I pray I am aware of your presence all day.  Give us courage to love this life boldly and harmoniously with each other. I need help with loviug and accepting my responsibility for others, starting with my loved ones. Be my help I pray. IJN

One to remember and ponder, Lee van Lear Substack, the Morning Five, 6/7/26 Spiritual Molecules:

Hi there, folks. This is Lee, and you’re watching In The Moment, a series of impromptu conversations about life, the Gurdjieff work, and everything else. 

And I’m going to try to wrap up a project that I undertook about, well, I don’t know, two or three months ago about molecular condensates. Boring subject for some of you, I’m sure, but perhaps we’ll find a way to make it a little more exciting today. I don’t know. But because the origins and beginnings of this project are lost in the mists of time and the foggy regions of an ancient brain, I’m going to refer to a couple of notes here just flesh out the beginning. 

Spiritual molecules. 

Well, what the hell are those? 

Well, actually, spiritual molecules, according to Gurdjieff, actually exist. And he talked about them in chapter nine of In Search of the Miraculous, where he indicated that when we breathe the air, we also breathe in particles that are invisible to our scientific instruments. I’m paraphrasing there, but that is what he said. 

And those particles are spiritual molecules, because they can’t be seen by instruments, except for the instrument of the human body, which is a most exquisite tool capable of sensing things, not just on physical, but also metaphysical or, as we might also call them, energetic levels. 

So, why am I bringing this up? 

Well, if you take a look at molecular condensates, biological communities function the same way that molecular condensates do, and spiritual communities function the same way biological communities do, because the material world we live in is a reflection of a spiritual world on a level above it. 

Okay, so our life, both inner and outer, is formed by energies. And alignment means sensing those energies, bringing them into relationships that are harmonically correspondent. That is to say, they make sense together. They produce a better, a more elevated vibration when they are aligned. 

Spiritual molecules do this the same way that molecules and molecular condensates do. They gather together to do work within being. And they gather together temporarily over and over again, even in the same way that it happens in the molecules in your cells. Every single second, they gather together and do work in new and different ways as they interact with one another. 

We call these spiritual molecules values. But the values are actually material things, just like atoms and molecules. When we damage them, they’re hard to repair. 

Human beings were always meant to be consciously aware of their values, but we’ve forgotten how to do that. The sense of the sacred is a sense of those values. The great religions were originally intended to help human beings align these values, but we’ve lost sight of that. 

Well, those are the notes I wrote mixed in with some various other comments. But I think that that captures the essence of it. 

I would like the community to understand that our spiritual molecules function the same way that the molecules in our biological bodies function, and that we need to work on helping them to become properly aligned for our spiritual health. It’s peculiar the way that things work [in a nearly identical way] on every level, and the whole point of embarking on this conversation about molecular condensates was leading towards this point about spiritual molecules. 

There are spiritual elements. 

They form spiritual molecules. 

The values in our life gather themselves together into more elaborate structures on a spiritual plane. 

They do this working in a metaphysical organ called the soul. 

And the soul is a living thing, just like our bodies are living things, which has a beginning, a birth, a lifespan, and a death that we know almost nothing about. 

There are arguments here on this level about whether the soul is ever born or has always been there, and whether it is immortal or not. And we can’t know those things in their true form, as we are here in these earthly bodies. 

But we can sense our spiritual values, our metaphysical elements. We can sense them because this instrument of the body is the tool that was designed and evolved to do that. And if we lose sight of the fact that we are creatures not just of molecular organic nature, but molecular spiritual nature—if we realize this, perhaps we’ll be a little more sensitive to just what kinds of nutrition and nourishment we take in, in terms of spiritual molecules, and how we bring it into relationship in this life. 

That’s what attention is for, is to help our spiritual molecules align with one another better. So that’s more or less it. 

I may have some more comments on this subject in the future, but I’d like to remind everyone of how absolutely material this whole question is in terms of being. 

Webinars today

 

Off east end beaches 

One as what I like, one not so much 

A cried this morning. Feels besieged. I said due was

What today?

 

Together days. Who’s together? who’s happy

Intentional suffering?. Physical suffering this am. I might have taken my Saturday pills yesterday. Doubled ie. I feel weak. It is cold and cloudy. 

DDay. Snoopy cartoon reminded me, how silly. 

Angry and resentful-me

 

Daily “bread” prep

   I awake with bile in my heart this morning.  Why, Lord?  I don’t want to be responsible for other people, especially people who can’t or won’t be responsible for themselves yet whom I claim to love. I resent my physical heart symptoms and leg walking problems. I hate smote hot season with no ac and my responsibility for that, for managing the upkeep of a house. Rage, rage against the dying of the light but take me now, Lord. No don’t take me now. Red stilll needs me. I’m living for my dog!  He doesn’t disappoint or bring me down. L being screwed by SSA. M beaten and paranoid again. C slipping. That’s the report from Cols. yesterday. Another beautiful twenty year with extreme disability/incapability. We all need each other with quiet desperation. We need You, some external omnipotent intervention, but can’t feel it if your help does come. Can’t believe that it will come. Well, what, can we expect for an easy sweet life, with Jesus sent to a cross?  . How expect that?  

    Feeling Afib again, as every other morning dream of teaching school, wringing it, not knowing what I’m dong, two groups of students, one going along with everything I’m doing , the second class challenging  

    Lord lift this burden , I mean help us all to carry it, not take our lives to silence suffering. That’s going overboard. Balance, harmony, peace - too much to ask?  Help us Jesus. 

Peace

Stretch

Rollin’

Yeah!

That’s what we all want: peace. does it only come with death and does it even come then?  Reminded this week, suffering is the reality of life. Sorrow and joy, He says every day  That does not include contentment does it?

Quote from Robin Bloor,  6-1-26, The Lost Herald:

The Self You Didn’t Choose

Gurdjieff hands you an uncomfortable idea and refuses to soften it. You are not one person. You are two, and you have spent your whole life mistaking one for the other.

He calls them essence and personality. They arrive together, grow together, and answer to the same name, so you assume they are the same thing. They are not. In the Paris talks of 1922 he goes further and counts three machines born with every man — body, essence, and personality — and he insists they have nothing in common with one another. They form independently. They develop independently. A man can carry a bold body, a cowardly essence, and a brave personality all at once, and never notice the contradiction because he never looks.

Start with essence, because essence starts first. Essence is everything you were born with. Heredity, type, temperament, character, nature, raw faculties — the equipment that came in the box. Gurdjieff calls it purely emotional and puts its centre of gravity in the feeling centre. When he is being blunt, in America in 1924, he says it plainly: essence is “I.” It is everything that is genuinely yours. His own example is almost comic in its simplicity — I have a swarthy skin, and I remain as I was born. That belongs to his type. No lecture, no library, no change of address will alter it.

Now personality, and here the knife goes in. Personality is acquired. It is, in his word, accidental. It is built entirely from what you hear and what you read — education, opinions, points of view, the information and convictions that change daily and cancel each other out. Today you believe one thing and want it badly. Tomorrow, under a different influence, you believe and want something else. None of it is yours. It is, he says, a dress you wear, an artificial mask, the result of upbringing and surroundings. And because it is borrowed, it can be stripped off fast. Hypnosis can rewrite your convictions in half an hour. That speed should frighten you. You cannot hypnotise away a man’s essence in half an hour, or in a hundred years. You can rearrange his personality before lunch.

This is the test that cuts cleanly through the two. What you cannot change is essence. What you can change is personality. Change in personality is easy. Change in essence is perhaps impossible. And here Gurdjieff sets a trap for the self-improver. Essence grows until about the age of five, maybe a little longer, and then it largely stops. After that the levers are set. So the man who reads his way to a new philosophy at forty has changed nothing real. He has reshuffled his personality and left his essence exactly where it was at five years old — small, untouched, and waiting.

The two behave nothing alike, and once you see the difference you cannot unsee it. Personality is talkative, clever, easily convinced, and built around a single centre — the formatory apparatus, the mechanical part of the mind. Essence is many-centred but mute. It has no critical faculty. It is trustful, timid, apprehensive. You cannot argue with it. Your mind knows it ought to love everyone; your essence simply cannot, and no logic will move it. Your mind knows the ghost is a hallucination; your essence is afraid of it anyway. Will belongs to personality. Essence has no will at all — only desires. So the part of you that is genuinely you is the part that cannot speak the language in which you give yourself orders.

Gurdjieff dramatises this with his horse-and-cart. The body is the horse, the mind the driver, the personality the reins, and somewhere a master who should be giving directions and almost never is. Once, he says, all the parts shared one language and worked together. Then the language was forgotten. Each part went off to live on its own. Now the driver shouts and the horse flicks flies with its tail and understands nothing. You command yourself constantly. The horse — your essence — does not even hear you. Elsewhere he is grimmer still: we have two strangers in our house and can do nothing with them. The strangers are your own feeling and your own body, and you have never learned their names.

Why does any of this matter? Because Gurdjieff’s whole project hangs on it. When he talks about development, he means the development of essence — never personality. And development, he says, is not acquisition. It is reconstruction. The question is to reconstruct what has been lost, not to acquire anything new. You are not adding a skill. You are digging back down to something that was buried, because each year a man puts on a new mask, a new dress, until a thick crust covers the essence entirely. The work is removal, not accumulation.

There is a mechanism, and it has an odd, almost paradoxical shape. As personality is observed, it becomes passive, and then essence grows and becomes active. You do not attack the mask. You watch it. Watched honestly, it loses its grip, falls quiet, and the buried thing underneath finally gets room to move. Which is why sincerity sits at the centre of the method — sincerity with oneself, which Gurdjieff freely admits is the hardest thing of all. A man will be honest with a friend before he will be honest with himself, because looking down through the crust he is afraid of what he might find: his own nothingness. Most of us drive those thoughts away to dodge the remorse. The crust thickens. The stranger stays a stranger.

So the distinction is not a tidy piece of psychology to file away. It is a verdict. Almost everything you call your character — your opinions, your certainties, your sense of being a particular sort of person — is rented furniture, swapped out without your consent every time the surroundings change. The real article underneath stopped growing while you were still in short trousers, and it does not understand a word you say to it. Gurdjieff’s claim is that only a conscious man can even tell the two apart. The rest of us go through life loudly defending the mask and never once meeting the face. 

 

Give me strength, Lord

Walmart shoppers

Guide my actions and beliefs and thoughts,  led. Let kindness be my essence IJN

I don’t mean to forget you

 

Friends  Dogs work small miracles

But here I am at the dreg ends of the day after a phone fight with S realizing I’m angry and worried I can’t cope.with quick image of blowing my brains out. I don’t like this complex of suffering, in self, as surrogate, as bossy incompetent manager resented by all mu”loved ones.” Jesus show me the way. And thank you for the blessings.