A most beloved 6ft boy at a fave place,
Harris Shoals Park, 9-14-25
Lord, I can’t know if this was one of the last times I will have ever seen a special needs darling who claimed a piece of my heart nearly twenty years ago. He has rolled through those years without seeming to register his losses, eg his mother, or barely his helpmeets, father excepted. I can see no ways to support him personally in the future, so I must turn him over to his fate and to You. Obviously I don’t think that’s sure enough. Where is my faith for this?
I had intended to pray IJN, Send Your guardian angel bands to protect him daily through his whole life, to minimize his emotional pain and all suffering which I assume he cannot understand or grow from. I do pray that, for him, and for non blood others like him. And for those in and out of my family who suffer particularly from mental illness.
My prayer must also be for me for that one to have any hope of going “past the ceiling.” Lord, today I perceive my sin of small faith in You and Your ways. I confess my sin and pray, Lord, help my unbelief.
And as I contemplate this prayer, I see I am saying, Absolute, send the supernatural to rescue us 3BBeings from the fact and destiny of our suffering, contrary to the laws of nature and existence. Not gonna happen. You can’t break Your own laws, which we may not understand or agree with. That’s GIG’s teaching, which I accept. Most days. Until I ask for exceptions. Maybe that’s a conundrum of faith. Perhaps it’s a source of the Sorrow of the Absolute. I do not understand You. Lord, have mercy. Help my unbelief.