What day is it

Favorite place favorite beings 

Confused. Many times.  But Plorf thank you for pleasant quiet times. I know that is not the state for everyone. iJN

A new day. Everyday.

Yellow azalea from my fragrant shrub,

Pelted down my hard rain today

 No entry on Saturday.  Must have been too tired or totally forgetful 

I am thankful for C’s visits. And for I. 

Life goes on

Lord  thank you. And help

Lord. One word to remind me of your importance always. I pray for I’s safe  interesting but uneventful journey. I pray for JG’s recuperation  of rights and rep, of righteous redemption.  Show me how and when. IJN. Lord. 

TYJ

DJ pic: fishing tournament at sunset

I’ve been initialing wrong for months. It’s not TNJ it’s TYJ.   I beg your pardon. The intention was good, Lord. lord   Lord

  It’s ok:  I was using INJ. Which. I definitely need to pray daily.  When a day goes so smoothly and interestingly as today I do feel like saying praise Jesus and thank you, gracious Lord. This must be the contentment, nay, Joy that LvL talks of daily. 

Lord

Guess

Therefore, when you set yourself to this work and feel, by grace, that God has called you to it, lift up your heart to God with a gentle stirring of love. Intend God who made you, redeemed you, and called you—but receive no other image or concept of him.

Indeed, even these need not be retained unless you desire them; for a naked intention directed toward God alone, without any other motive, is fully sufficient.

If you wish to clothe this intention in a single word, so that you may hold it more firmly, choose a short word of one syllable—for the shorter the word, the better it accords with the work of the spirit.

Such a word may be “God” or “Love.” Choose whichever you prefer, or another word of one syllable that pleases you. Fasten this word to your heart so that it never leaves you, whatever may happen.

This word will be your shield and your spear, whether in , inner Christianity, peace or in struggle. With this word you will strike the cloud and the darkness above you. With this word you will beat down every thought beneath the cloud of forgetting.

If any thought presses upon you asking what you want, answer with no more than this single word.

And if the thought offers, from its great learning, to explain the word to you or analyze its meaning, say to it that you want the word whole and undivided—not broken apart by explanation.

If you remain faithful to this practice, the thought will not linger long. For it finds no nourishment when you refuse to feed it with sweet reflections.

   Lee van Laer, Inner  Christianity, Substack, April 17, 2026, Chp. 17, The Cloud of Unknowing

I love this. But I have to admit I am not a contemplative

“Stealing again”

No mow May, I guess. Red is OK with it

 I post this because I need to remember it

“TRUST YOUR SPIRIT. Universe is not demanding any great thing of you at this moment. It's only asking that you trust your Spirit and share your gifts. You know in your heart of hearts what your Spirit is gifted at sharing with others. Now is the day to do it. Don't be shy as others need your love and kindness now. And rock on in this crazy world. Love and peace Kate”

Lord abide with me today, and guide me, Sweet Jesus.  Bless and protect my loved ones and help them to see you. IJN

Where’s my energy gone to?

 

Wet, dandelion symmetry

Feel so lackluster. Lord, shine me up IJN

Too lazy for my own good

Next stage of the apple tree, 

thank you for that beauty Lord

Two webinars today one good one not good And sat down to watch TV all day and what’s the point?

Can I in all honesty? Pray God be with me when I won’t even be with myself.?

Truly complete

 

Sunset Wednesday

Lee van Lear post on Morning Five sub stack today:

The fundamental condition:  The path towards light

I am  an inhabitant of this body. 

I dwell within it, 
deeply rooted in its nature, 
so much so that it is easy to think that we are one thing, 
yet it is more difficult to sense it 
because my awareness always separates itself from my sensation 
to one degree or another. 

And this is the moment when I bring them together 
here in the same place with one another 
and I allow the very gentle and intelligent movement of the breathing 
to help bring in an energy that will bind them together 
in the single state that they actually inhabit together. 

It's useful to come to the bottom of the breath and begin there. 
To rest in stillness. 
And then to breathe in the revolution of substance 
that takes place as the air meets the blood. 

The involution of substance where substances are taken into the body, 
which are needed in every moment to support it. 

Every cell and the molecule alive 
with the energy that the breathing brings to them. 
Every muscle in the body participating by letting go a bit more 
so that it is more relaxed to receive this goodness. 

And each breath that I take in can help to remind me 
that in this life, which leads towards death
I have the opportunity to be a creature 
aligned with the forces of this planet 
and of life itself. 

Not a creature aligned with politics, 
or science, or religion, 
or the humanities, 
or business, or money. 

Not a being aligned with greed, or ownership, 
or despair, or exhilaration. 

A being aligned with being itself, 
which comes before all things, 
here and now, 
as the fundamental condition within my sensation. 

This fundamental condition of being within sensation 
grows countless roots within me. 

I find that every cell is touched by the tip of a rootlet 
that brings it what it needs to work for being here. 

And for now, dwelling in the gravity of this planet, 
I sense the tip of every rootlet as it reaches down. 

I begin to understand that in some mysterious way 
that cannot truly be explained
there is sorrow here in the atmosphere of the planet, 
and equally there is joy. 

And as I breathe in, 
they are part of the fundamental condition of this life, 
which is moving towards death. 

And that although they seem different, 
they are partners in life and being
that blend here in the body 
to bring a greater life than can be known with the mind or the body. 

So I become more sensitive to feeling now 
and without touching or manipulating any part of it,
I see how sensation and sorrow are the fundamental condition of being. 

And I see how being and joy are a fundamental condition of their own, 
equally present, equally needed here. 
And now the energy, the feet and the hands, 
is more aligned with being. 

The solar plexus has reassumed its rightful role 
as the governor of the lower energies in the body 
and the connection to this planet Earth. 

And the heart begins to remind me of the way 
in which it governs the upper portion of the body. 
And the breath begins to remind me of the way 
it connects the heart and the solar plexus 
in order to help unify this being in sensation. 

I sense the wholeness of the body. 
I sense sorrow and joy here together in this life which leads towards death. 
And I very quietly celebrate the presence of glory 
in the stillness that gathers itself here. 

Dwelling in this fundamental condition for a moment, 
I see more clearly through the sensation itself 
the way in which it feeds the roots of being 
and deposits substances here 
which will be needed in this day 
to support the life and truth and being of other creatures 
to whom I have a sacred being duty 

Today I hope, by acting while rooted in this fundamental condition 
to bring real intelligence to my life 
to bring compassion 
to manifest the goodness that I have been given 
and to work to bring love into the world 
here where it belongs 
so that it can live more fully in all beings 
and in everything that takes place under the light, the sun 

and for this I need help 

therefore I say Lord have mercy 

In relationship to the fundamental condition of this being, 
here and now 
I say, Lord have mercy. 

Oh beautiful

 

My favorite apple tree good; promise of many apples

    Something prettier for this blog and many thanks for the beauties you give us, Lord

Thank you, Jesus

On the Hannaford path an hour ago

For your help, for your guidance, for getting me through the day. Felt good to be so busy and to have the energy for it

Lord Abide with me

Sunset an hour ago what Beautiful color

  Give me strength toget through the next few days and take care of the homeowner problems that I’ve got and agreed to, especially cleaning, rearranging furniture and disposing of it. Pretty specific ask, I know, But it does occupy my mind. Along with upcoming grandson’s visit and S’s cc problem, and Zio patch. It’s a lot. I need help. IJN. And thank you where and when help comes, especially JP God bless him. And bless each member of my family and friendship Circle  Thank you

Give me patience and strength

 

Thank you for pups at play

Look at those coats on Five nights ago

Lord have mercy. I don’t love high heat no more than cold Good thing I didn’t don’t live in Jesus’ neighborhood I guess

Lord

The whole enchilada

Help us, Jesus

I wish I could

 

Through a glass dimly. Friday PO pic

Write think work like Lee.  From Today Substack morning five:

Before I close my eyes,
I spend a moment here 
in relationship with the comprehensive sensation of my body 
in order to remind myself 
that it is the blending of this sensation 
with the incoming impressions of life 
that can make a difference in my nourishment. 

And that the aim, the aim here and now, 
is to develop a more intimate relationship with this energy 
so that it will be present always and everywhere. 

What can I say?

 

Rainy daypost office yesterday

Catch you later, Lord? 

Is that the best I can do so caught up in commercial laden TV movies?  

Now what?

 

Waiting room

Now I lay me down to sleep. 

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take. 

Thank you Jesus

 

New maple leaves at T’s house

I like this photo

For all the many blessings you bestow on us. 

Lord help me live   I am afraid of my heart symptoms 

“O Death.  O Death. Won’t you hold me over for another year.”

Very high BP  red face tonight. Pulse not so high. Took extra 30 mg propranolol. 11 pm

Still I’m making plans for tomorrow. 

Lord bless all my dear ones, IJN. 

Guten Morgen

 

4-17-26. Dog Park Trail, something growing

     Works. Strike the first do. See a paltry self satisfaction.  Accept it. Acknowledge Jesus. God. My own being. The being of others. With thanks  IJN

Empty nest

  

In the rhody bush

 Webinar was good despite friction of Ston presence. Kept me awake I think. Robin reminded me that the morning sitting Strikes the do of the day. Very important  Word, help me do it properly and Consistently  IJN

I find it sad

 

Broken yolk 

In bloom

Neighbors pear tree in Bloom

I’ve never seen pears on it

 Copycat again from Liane earlier this morning, daily five Substack:

“ The quality of the exchange I undertake and engage with in regard to the outer world is in the end determined by the quality of my connection to this sensation of being….

Rooting myself here in the beginning
 in the cosmological force of my own being, 
I have a chance of resisting what comes in from outside 
and I will not become its slave.”

Quiet, can’t say Peaceful

 

Somebody ‘hood: Nason’ Corner 5/7

   Lord move us quickly through this period with of war with a finale of lasting peace. Is it too much to hope and pray for?

   I don’t feel like I will live much longer. My afib and muscle weakness are disturbing.  Is death peace?

Nochmals Grüß Gott!

Basilica de la Sagrsda familia, 

SIL’s pic 4/24

Abide with me today and with those I love. Give me a strong conscience and right direction, in Jesus name

Closed heart

 

But not then.  Wide open, 2008

    That war movie keeps repeating in my head, like a toxic meal, prompting depression and restlessness. Body feels poorly today too, want to do or feel nothing, even if I push and say thank you for the sunshine, little dog, and easing of some recurring symptoms. I have such an easy life that it seems hard as I spend time watching minutes and hours digitally flow on my iWatch.  God help me!  Do I really want to be helped?  And when I don’t, isn’t that when I die?  Waiting for Godot. 

Don’t forget

 

       Christ says, I am the way and the truth and the life. (John 14:6.)

     

First things first

 

Pitiful. Homeless, high 

on Bayside trail yesterday

Weird green man closeup

   I was dreaming I was at bro’s house. He was taking good care of me. Fixing dinner: pizza, w/steak or pork chop on top?  How novel! In the woods. Sil had something to say about dinner, typical objection/complaint 

   Secondly Lee van Lear today, reminds 

   “  I begin here as I am whatever condition I am in. 

I agree with myself to relax into that condition 

so that I inhabit it with the entire organ of my being. 

My whole being is an organ of perception. 

     

Borrowing again

Neighbor’s nature

“Gurdjieff says

There is no compulsory, mechanical evolution. Evolution is the result of conscious struggle. Nature does not need this evolution; it does not want it and struggles against it. Evolution can be necessary only to man himself when he realizes his position…3

So even with this apparently simple question regarding an aspect of Nature in ourselves, in relation to Gurdjieff’s thought, we come across much material requiring further chewing. Then, with the realisation of how I misjudged the depth encompassed by this subject, and the fact that I actually “understand,” even mentally, practically nothing after all about this, evokes also a certain emotional state, akin to, or approaching, that vital condition called by Gurdjieff “to realize one’s nothingness.”4 If I can experience this without identification, it is the very place from which an ascending octave can begin…

For the present, simply the bare question remains. Yet, in this very void, it is now possible for something to flow, as it were, with great force. Obstructions to this flow are, relatively, and perhaps only for a very short time to begin with, abolished. It is an opening. And, after all, life and its possibilities come to us from above  ISM 47, 57, 218” from Till Siegel Substack, Journal of Gurdjieff Studies, 4-6-26 What is Nature for Gurdjieff?”

Shiver

   

In South Portland

In the ‘hood

Flowers in Bloom thank you for the color but it’s awfully cold out. That wind!

Thank you for it all

Scary bad a-fib last night

 

Sending myself flowers from the ‘hood

       Around 7:30 pm right after my walk, food prep, and supper,!for about an hour, I felt.  High hobo measured -  159/90 if memory serves, pulse consistently around 141, headachy. I took my evening pills—propranolol and eliquis— plus an extra 180 mg diltiazim dated 2024 (I know better, but I was scared. 

    The whole incident got me thinking of the complications of our life since tha crash on march 12. Of If I die now. It could happen. No loved ones here to help with the transitions. Or support survivors, ir Red and my husband. This is hard .  Even thinking , do I call the doctor?  Weekend. Don’t want ER and hospital or ambulance. And eventually that may be inevitable. Not happy with my will and distance from lawyer or funeral home selected with A, also too far away. All down to no nearby caring relatives, as I saw when my parents and their generation passed.  So I’m worried. May be getting depressed and withdrawing. 

     S would come down to help her dad and Red for a while.  There’s a comforting thought  

     Help me, help us, great healer great Healer. IJN

Lee word

 

We both love a little dog

     I cannot pray or say so accurately and eloquently as Lee van Laer, so I borrow from him again today, from the Morning Five.

     “ I do not say here, "I wish to have being." 

For I do have being, as all creatures do. 
It is a gift given to me as a precious substance
in order that I may live and be, 
and to gather myself 
into a more concentrated expression 
of the goodness that the planet and the sun 
and all of creation need in order to exist. 

And so I enter into this fundament of relationship. 
The breath fills me. 
Sensation draws its being from the breath. 
And I begin to enter the stillness of the Great Prayer. 

And on the threshold of this sacred place I say, 
Lord have mercy 

for I sense I have been brought 
to the edge of a mystery so great 
that I will never fathom it; 

and yet still, in my own unknowing, 
this great mystery, the Great Prayer, 
calls to me, 

inviting me to be, 
to attend, 
to participate 

in a small taste of the glory,
which is everlasting. 

And although I can only ever hear 
the echo of the Great Prayer within me, 
it fills me with a longing 
for truth and love and life itself. 

I somehow wish to join its song 
even though I know not the music to it. 

Still, I will sing. 

This is the song of stillness, 
the song of silence. 

I am called to the song of love, 
the song of goodness. 

And here, within this place now, 
is where my soul comes to rest 
in order to begin the day.