God have mercy

Snow yesterday 

    Lord give me strength. Spare and heal Allan. I am afraid IJN

Heal the wounded

 

God help him speedy and complete recovery, including his self recriminations. IJN

Post op. Feeling much better

Walking Ties, March 11, 2026

  This is my March 11 post; not sure what editing error I made to land it on 3-12

An alternative 

To the foot bridge

The whole structure. Today 3-11-26 10:10 am

     I walked ties across the Tug River as a child with Aunt B and Uncle B. It was scary. This pic shows the spaces between them, and one can easily trip. No footbridge in Nolan. Trains could—and did once—pass us. We had to quickly step off onto small platforms with rails to hold. The train was right there. Like I said, scary. I never forgot. 

  Lord, we build protections for ourselves and trust them to work for us. Let us place our trust completely in you instead.   I pray for special blessing on CV today and each day she continues on the narrow track of her acute illness.  IJN

Soggy and dreary

  

Rock Row quarry pit, 11:45am

       This scape may not be nearly as pretty as in good weather, but it’s still dramatic.  I only snapped twice, feeling let down, and the second is off focus more than I like or can adjust; rather like the morning felt. Tired. Unenthused.

       Red and I both got soaked and chilled outside the neighborhood, but we’re none the worse for it.  We accomplished four small tasks: investigated potential text scam at phone store, bought Crumbl cookies, bought lunch and supper at MB supermarket, and walked 30 minutes in the rain.  Feels good as we both relax now, and I’m recalling the genial people we encountered, especially the grizzled long beard with bad knees like mine, also buying readymade supper.  Plus there were five handsome young folks buying cookies, a man with a muscular densely tattooed sleeve photographing a store entrance, and a friendly young black haired store clerk, all eager to pet Red.  What an attention magnet he is!

     We were talking last night about relationship as a function of Time/Heropass and Divine Love. Another good memory, abstract certainly, but now I associate it with these pleasant encounters with strangers.  I am reminded of the importance of getting out and about, regardless of mood or weather. That needs to be a constant aim:  meet people.

     Lord bless all the folks we encountered today.  Bless our tribe and our friends.  Forgive us the hurt we cause and forgive those who harm us:  forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, in your words. IJN

Light and warmth

 

,

Almost sunrise, 6:45 am

     Thank you, Lord, for both.

    Must such wondrous creations of comfort and beauty also be sources of guilt and remorse of conscience?  Reminded that I have and many others have not, I acknowledge that I do little enough to balance the situation. No wonder nuns and monks take vows of poverty!  But in the argument of works vs faith, Works is not the Way, says the Epistles.  But I’m probably offering self calming excuses. 

     Always in the Wilderness, do not enjoy, that should be the aim, thus sayeth my liberal friends, too.  All talk. 

    Lord help me not to offend, but to also be truthful and sincere. To you, me, them.  IJN

Sunshine where u find it

Water in the street can be very beautiful

     

    Today is the 102 year anniversary of Mom’s birth. Thinking of her.

     Thinking not of God or Jesus. And I am asleep today. Again binge watched stupid TV today. 

    I forgive myself, perhaps too easily. Lord, will you forgive me for my waste of your precious gift  of time?  IJN

    Thank you for life. 

I’m melting, melting

 

69°, start of daylight savings time

     Snow is going fast, but those piles are higher than they look and it’s definitely mud season. 

     

     Lord have mercy, God have mercy.

Anniversary

 

Of Mom’s death. Here she is in DC, about 20 yrs old

     For some reason I always get her death and birth dates confused. She was born March 9, 1924, at Winco Block, Naugatuck, West Virginia, and died March 7, 1997 Columbus, Franklin, Ohio.

Stupidly, no citation on this 8-24 research I was doing. 

Presumably, my grandfather would have been working at this coal mine when my mother was born, his third child.

 

       God bless the tribe, who was, who is gone, who is, who will be.

All Gods creatures

I like lizards, 3-24-2021 GA

     Brings back memories, nostalgic and a bit sad, as pics invariably do.   And this is a season of past deaths for me, mom and Suzanne. Lord have mercy. Remember our passed love ones. Help us prosper for their sake. Keep them in our hearts and minds. IJN

Before it slips away

 

,

Street ice end of driveway, 8:20 am

     How many people see the tiny and constant beauties You create?  I am fortunate and grateful to have “artists’ eyes” with which to look upon Your Creation. 

 Lee’s podcast, “Caterpillar Vibes” describes communication of bees, butterfly caterpillars and ants to illustrate the idea of “vibration, movement and communication (as) a fundamental cosmological property.”  For me he clarifies, at least for a while, the ubiquitous but murky sling of “vibrations” by every contemporary sort of “spiritual”  type onto their beliefs with little attempt to explain their meaning.  I never quite found it self-evident.  Maybe I’m too thick; my vibration is too low. 

      Well, I admit that’s likely a true self-observation.  But when you’re swimming in them, it’s just hard to notice the vibes with accuracy. Or modify them, when needed, as can. 

     So thanks again, Lee. And thanks, Lord, for good teachers. Help us discern and take to heart the lessons you send.  IJN

         

First light

 

Moments ago, 5:56 am

Later 8:18

     Lord grant us, Lord help us create, a fruitful day. IJN

     A new installment of the Flaubert Reports yesterday,  Jesus’ Teenage Years, The Ungrateful Dead, Part II. The humor and sweetness of those essays calms me and warms my heart. In this one especially the reference to babies immediately, permanently receiving the Light of Christ moves me. The assertion that it has never left the world is glad tidings indeed. 

      “But I have never seen light move through any Being the way it does through Christ.

The way it does, you say?

Of course.

I say it in the present tense; because even now the Light of Christ is alive.”

    

     Then there is also the Heartfire.

From The Klutz, 2-5-26, Lee van Lear

We’ll see

GA pollen, 3-2-23

Where to?

 

10-12-15, Poland, Me

Poland Springs property, if memory serves

     I like this photo leading from light into dark, the sunlit path in to what looks like a dark cave; it’s a very simple metaphor for current events actually.  I’m glad to say we did not watch war TV yesterday. There were some references in one webinar about not watching the news at all to lower stress, but think it’s important to stay in the loop, just take in only as much as you can handle and parse it for yourself.  It strikes me as odd, no bullets flying in my neighborhood despite the barrages in other cities in the world. That condition alone removes from us, me, at least, the sense of reality or urgency of armed conflict. It does not take away fear of the unpredictable consequences of war. I think that’s really magnified in anti-Trump protesters.

    God help us cope with our fears IJN

Prescient?

 

No end in sight this morning

     A said yesterday that he thought I was prescient about the immanence of our war with Iran because I stated I thought it might start this weekend, before he left for the post office. He phoned me five minutes afterward, telling me indeed it had already begun. No magic insight on my part, I replied; just paying attention to recent Fox News, “reading” the President and Cabinet pronouncements there for the past fortnight . Then M’s worry last night about Iran during our meditation session reinforced my own sense the coming of war.

     I dread most the political backlash to Trump in this event.  I am sick to death of holier-than-thou  protesters and the Democratic bloc in Congress.  They are all too blind to look before their TDS at policies and events of the past several decades. Nor do they see reason toprotect their own interests and those of this nation. 

        Marc Levin stated my opinion and wish rationally, as he often does:  drop the “off-ramp” foolishness; press the military success to actual victory with surrender.  For nearly fifty years this Iranian threat has hung like the Sword of Damocles over US and the western world.

       Jihad. End it permanently, I plead. Let Iran grow back to peaceful democratic prosperity, along with the other Muslim nations, and of course a double blessing on Israel. Let US interests be satisfied, and hush the homegrown whiners who won’t try to understand that mindset.  IJN

Active war coming?

Factory reflecting sunlight yesterday

     Thank you, Lord, for this day and this life.  And for what peace we have.

   A last night mentioned that M, his mom, was picturing Iran, pleasant places; it’s on her mind a lot lately. I never asked where they immigrated from, could be from there.  He looks totally American, is totally caring of his mother . She’s a very quiet and pretty elder who speaks with some kind of accent, which I guessed might be Cuban when I wondered at all about their country of origin years ago.  But  his reference to Iran surprised me in that “astral traveling” setting at PSC last night,  because l’m worried about a war with US, too. It seems inevitable, maybe necessary, with US promises to defend the anti-regime protesters.  That’s a promise I think should be kept, with too many executed Iranians already. But who wants war? 

    

    I don’t think you dabble in wars, but I must pray, God help us, Lord have mercy. 

     An hour after I wrote this, A told turn on the TV, the war has started. 

Awake or asleep

 

Daylight moon yesterday 2:28 pm

     Orage psychological essay number eight asks, “Are We Awake?” as presented today in Lee’s substack, Journal of Gurdjieff studies. It’s a major premise of GIG and, as O explains, many religions, especially Christianity. “Ye must be born again.”   It prompted me to ask, Am I afraid to awaken?  I hate to admit, but probably yes, at least most of the time.

      And now to pray, Lord have mercy, lift my fear.  I believe; help thou my unbelief. IJN

Borrowed words

 

My shadow and my joy, 2-16

“If you want to find Joy, you must first of all be generous towards it. And second, you should do everything you can to help it sneak up on you, because if you demand its presence or look for it yourself, you will never find it anywhere.”                                                                                        Z,Y,G: Lee’s Gurdjieff Newsletter Substack, 2-24-26

     I use other people’s words because they comfort me and because some people are more certain than I am. 

      Lord help us all IJN

Dullard

 

St Hyacinth, across the river

    That’s me today and lately.  I dread even the idea of doing anything.  My tank is empty this morning, Lord help me. 

   Good webinar tonight, wiping out my dread.  RB maintains “Let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” refers strictly to personality and essence, not impartiality, as I queried. I’m still attached to impartiality.

     Love me some Jesus tonight.

     Don’t know what’s up in Cols, out of the loop and their lives are no longer my business. But Lord bless and protect and prosper all of them, especially C and L on her birthday.  Bless the memories of M and C. IJN

     

     

Robin posts

 

An Image of Christ

Christ and the Compression of Time

by Robin Bloor | Feb 23, 2026 | Readings, The Lost Herald

Perceive how Christ reversed time.

The Body.

Man falls through time, slowly at first, each minute, each day, each month brimming with change: then faster and faster, till the years flash by indistinguishable, empty of all experience.

The Spirit.

Thirty years Jesus grew, studied, learned, foresaw.

Three years Christ ministered—what teachings, healings, miracles, communion with the multitude, preparation of his disciples!

Three months from the going up to Jerusalem until the end—faster, faster matter is stirred, tighter, tighter is time compressed.

Three days of his passion: each minute, each second intent with agony and creation.

Three hours upon the cross—“And behold, the veil of the temple was split in twain”.

Time split. Past, present, above and below were fused. A

nd in those hours a whole great age of man’s development was formed.

This is regeneration. The reversal of time.

From slow to faster, more potent, dazzling, vertiginous, unbearable. Crack!

Ecstasy. God.

 I did not ask to use this. I will take it down if Robin objects.  If anyone ever reads it besides me here, Which I wish would happen .  

This is issue 48 oh The Lost Herald, and he opens with a description of a rare “conjunction of conjunctions,” i.e. 2-20-26, 11:52 am, astrological conjunction of Neptune and Saturn at 0° in Aries,”the very beginning of the zodiac.” Last one 1989 (fall of Berlin wall), previous 1702 and 7000 bce.

Add in February 17 Chinese new year of the Fire horse, February 18 Lent started, and Ramadan, February 17 June 19 starts depending on location. 

 

Well, that  explains a lot!

Also in February, we published a new book by Rodney Collin, a collection of his writings entitled The Mirror of Light and Other 

Nor’easter

 

3:30 PM yesterday

 

18 hours later

11 am, mostly horizontal snow, close to white out

     So we will all sit it out, listening to the wind howl and hoping we don’t lose power.  Snowfall is picking up, hiding the neighbors in a veil of fine white particles.  Good time is thus provided to do our inner work.  Calm.

    Lord protect us all from this weather, especially the exposed animals and people; shelter them I pray. And thank you for the stillness it brings us.  IJN

    Exasperation, I suppose, prompted me to break into what sounded to me like webinar cacophony with, “I’m not on the essence train tonight. We talk about essence and personality all the time.”  I asked, maybe demanded, subject change. 

     On pondering, I sense that too many words attempt to dissect and thereby kill essence. lt would serve us better to open quietly to this precious substance than to analyze and compare it.  Sense it together, then simply say amen. Repeat as needed to approach comprehension, lest we beat it to death with words intended to display our own wisdom .

   "When I have true joy, when neither pain nor sorrow can take it from me, then I am installed in the divine essence where sorrow has no place. 

     For we see that in God there is no anger or sadness, but only love and joy. Though he seems sometimes to be wrathful with sinners, it is not really wrath. It is love, for it comes from the great divine love. Those he loves he chastens, for he is love, which is the Holy Ghost.”

  Meister Eckhart, sermon 7, Quoted by Lee van Lear, Substack, Inner Christianity 2-20-26

Sunday

Taos Pueblo, 4-3-2017

 “ Lord, I call to thee from the depths of mine iniquity.

I have not delivered myself sufficiently unto thee. 

I know not how.”

Water under the . . .

So that’s where the ducks go in the cold: 

Under the bridge

     I missed an opportunity to do a good deed today, and I am kicking myself in the pants for it, or in Work terms, I am feeling remorse of conscience. I feel like those urges and opportunities are tasks brought by angels for me to do.  But I fail, not infrequently, and can offer no excuses for my failures, only prayers that more will come which I will not miss them.  For the times I answer those calls to kindness, I am grateful.

     I was in the pharmacy, paying for a very expensive prescription, and the man next to me could not pay for his. I wanted to offer to pay for it, but kept quiet for what seemed like sensible reasons, like not invading his privacy and not knowing the price.  He left. Then I got into a detailed conversation with the pharmacy clerk an about mutual funds and saving money, not because of the man’s situation, but because of the expensiveness of my own prescription.  The young man seemed genuinely grateful for the information I was offering,  but it wasn’t the good deed I would have preferred, especially since i thought, hope he nor possible eavesdroppers were scoping out old ladies to rob. I was judging him: he had a black eye and tattoos and was very thin. So there’s another good intention spoiled by internal considering. God forgive me. Lord have mercy. IJN

     

     Lord bless those whom I wrong misjudge.  Lord bless those I love. Lord bless this country. Lord help this world.  Lord keep green the memories of my parents and ancestors and in-laws. IJN 

Blessing

 

Blue Rock Quarry 2-28/26

     My friend in Canada is named Blessing, and he truly is one. Such a help to my state of mind and in Work. Thank You, Adonai, for such a friend.

    And thank you that the NM CT showed no evidence of the heart disease I was being tested for. Help me manage the two conditions revealed.  IJN

Not again

 

Empty nest, Yesterday in the park

     So I created another argument in webinar last night, this time rudely, insistently interrupting the nonstop essence talkers.  S hung up, after calling me a bookworm, as if to insult.  

     That’s three times this month I’ve made people dislike me. I’m not liking myself. I must be doing something wrong, which might prove to be movement towards the desired “goal” of objective conscience.  My discomfort shows me I ain’t got that and that I’m not indifferent as I wish I was, should be.  

         Am I starving among my people? I sense that I want to cast them all aside, as my gal S has done, find some agreeable friends who like and. respect me. Am I being egocentric or truly not receiving what feeds my trogoautoegocratic process?  I possibly could be suffering à la Parktdolg duty, which may coat the kjb, but it’s rough.  

     Thus do I dare ask you to rescue me,  Lord, like Peter or Jonah, from sinking in this dark, tumultuous sea of self?  Lord have mercy.  Especially if these “lessons,” this friction, is my medicine. IJN

New lenses

Reflection close-up, Monday

     How can they not know they are rich?  You said let those who have eyes see. You did not say those who see will feel dismay when others don’t see.  Human consternation is not your problem, however, and therefore I should give it up. Money is indeed the root of evil, if evil exists. If it doesn’t, money is at least the root of all our flights over power, over who rules whom, over has and has not.  That’s my take away from the Monday night webinar exchange, and why we never see eye to eye or tolerate the possibility of our own blindness.  

     Relinquishing this “wise” impression is so difficult, though I acknowledge it’s only a vanity -certainty that I know best- that separates me from Objective Reason and, that untrusted word, Joy.  Someone wiser said this week, let nothing stand between you and the joy of living. That makes the most sense to me.  

     Would it be sacrilegious or impudent or merely playful to nickname you Joy, Lord?  Do you have enough names already?

     Lord of joy, I am truly grateful for the material position I enjoy in this life.  Send your angels to take the scales from all our eyes.  Thank you. IJN

     

Trail redux

 

Moose tracks?  They area big hoof prints

We  smell something interesting. Let’s roll in it

Do I smell like it now?

My mother was right. Silence is golden.

High places

 

Little Kennesaw Mountain from big Kennesaw 4-3-14

High places are sacred places

One of my favorite places of my whole life

     Gird your loins, Nita used to say frequently. I miss her and Diane W, friends who have gone before me. I do so little these days; they helped me stay involved in life. And I am grateful for C who does the same with her daily visits in this last year or more.

     Lord I used to think I was good at making friends, but I don’t make efforts lately. I’ve stopped, eg, going or caring to go the RB church since cold snap, and I’m skipping PSC Friday encounters with live people; then there’s the rift with sis L.  No excuses. Just no interest. I should pray, help me change but not sure I want to.

     I will pray bless the ones who still live in my thoughts in all the ways you will. And forgive us all our debts as we forgive our debtors.  IJN

     Lee, quoting Orage, on learning to observe:

     “ It is desirable, to begin with, to have a few categories or questions into which to pour one’s observations. Let us choose the following: origin, history, relations, use and future.”

     “ At first, not only will you discover, to your surprise, both how much you know and how much you do not know, but the difference in feeling between observing, thinking, remembering, reasoning, imagination and fancy.”

Shadows

 

Yesterday

               When I walk, let me walk close to thee.

     Words fail me. Nothing to say:  to anybody about anything. Stillness or sleep or depression?  So I thought I was dis’d at a webinar last weekend developed a slow burn over a few days. Then it occurred to me that I’m reallyangry at myself for being truly speechless at these talk fests.

     I make no efforts , let alone super efforts.  Drowning in TV., that is, sleep. I know it changes my brain.  And so much real sleep. Lord help me live my life .  And I hear a similar malaise in I’s lyrics.  Lord heal his malaise. Guide him. IJN

Valentines

Thanks to festive neighbors 

Their displays are received by me as an act of love

God bless them

 

Today

 

View from Intermed yesterday

     Slept too much today. Did you get my walk in .  No inner work, no willingness. Really stupid dream about rap, singer, and sister D, hotel and spa.

Metanoia

Deer tracks?

       I ran hard and fast from D’s question last night, what is spirituality?  Well, I don’t like the word; seems so empty and noncommittal to me.  Our discussion connects to another D’s Monday reminder, (paraphrasing) happy is he who believes, happy is he who does not believe, woe to him in the middle.  Another pertinent aphorism came up yesterday, pouring from the empty into the void. 

       Our “conclusion” regarding the S question:  in Work, all is material, including God, the Absolute. So “an angel is a gd angel.”  Spirit is vibration, energy, electro/magnetic in the electric universe which has changed everything.  You have to grasp the Ray of Creation. And BP reminded us, spirit is breath, that which is inspired.

        This morning Lee vL posts Meister Eckhart sermon 7 wherein 

          “So that nothing remains be hidden in God that is not revealed to me, there must appear to me nothing like God, no form, for no form can reveal God’s nature or essence. So far as image or form remains, one will never be one with God. To be one with God, there must be no thing imagined or brought forth, so that nothing is hidden within being, that is not seen and at once cast out”

       Then Lee concludes, 

    “And above all, perhaps this particular passage reminds me of my own teacher, Betty Brown, who said to me near the end of her life, in a loving and confidential way—as she always did—

The things that we love the most are the first things that have got to go. 

Can I let myself go? 

Everything? 

This is a daunting prospect, and yet we are called to do so. 

For in the face of the Lord we are less than nothing, and all things we can know or might know become glory in that light. 

In Christ’s name we pray. 

Amen. 

Amen. 

Amen.”

    I announced about spirituality last night, I haven’t written that book yet, and all I can say is what others have already said.  (God help me. IJN)

     This is what it feels like not to know, not to trust self. Can’t then allow self to trust God but must plead frantically for presence of Holy Spirit to fill the void. I’m falling between the stools.

      If I see that’s where I am, then hope for change arises.  God help me.  Lord have mercy.