Not much to pray

Power lines edited out. As long as storm doesn’t do that !!!

     As said in other blog, very tired today, now evening is coming on. Words fail me. So I will let another pray for me, with reverent thanks.

Abide with me: fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see.
O thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who like thyself my guide and strength can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, O abide with me.

I fear no foe with thee at hand to bless,
ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if thou abide with me.

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes.
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

                         Henry F. Lyte, 1847

None of us works alone

 

    Natural geometric solids. Natural reaction to deep chill.

     Bright sunshine on deep white snow. Bracing but frigid air convinces me to stay in my warm cozy little room and take it all in from the rocker beside the gas stove which insures hot tea to sip. Odd that walking Red in the cold dark early evening doesn’t disturb.  Impressions. Contrast between passive and active.  Thank you, Lord. 

     I received such an uplifting email from our dear Baruch last night, with fascinating info on amber, (Bernstein in Deutsch), and best of all energy and empathy.  It brought real evening peace to me.  Thank you, Lord, for such a friend.

      In morning sitting, I practiced exercises presented by Ekant (he and family are ill today: Jesus heal quickly) and RS, then said a few personal prayers and worked to “practice” what Lee van Laer “preached” in two of his posts today.  I spelled out his name so you can check out his daily Substack posts; he’s well worth following.  

     I want to say his prayers are much better than mine, but I know I need to pray my own prayers; there’s no competition.  He reminds us “none of us works alone.”  He also offered this, which tickles me:  “Yet, as Zen Master Dogen once said, ‘It is difficult to give oars to mountaineers, yet I must expound the Dharma.’”

      Thank you lord for the helpers and guides you send our ways. May we recognize and appreciate their faithfulness.  IJN

It’s not the first time

Chihuly Exhibit, Franklin Park, Columbus, Oh 2005

     Everything I know I learned in movies. A favorite very instructive pronouncement occurs in 2005 (really that long ago?!) version of Pride and Prejudice to Jane from Mrs. Bennett regarding Lizzy “It’s not the first time we were wrong.  I dare say it won’t be the last.”

     I do rethink things. I see a woman’s saucy grin from her van seconds before she was shot, possibly smack in that smile. I learn the ordinary name and decent occupation of a foolish man who carried a gun to a “peaceful” protest. I was and am deeply sorry for them.  I am also sorry for their shooters, who likely will never outlive their actions.  I recognize the “narratives” of both sides of the ICE issue with the insistence to rush tojudgment and place blame.  It’s all messed up. 

   Gurdjieff asserts that humans have a “strange psyche” marked by “the ‘urgent need to destroy everything outside of themselves’….  The point is that when during the apogee of the development of such a peculiarity—terrifying to every Reason—“ they carry out “the process of reciprocal destruction…,” that is war, destroying objects, productions (and each other) without deliberate aim or need.  (BT, chapter 23, pp 310, 313). 

     This surely describes the most recent US riots, but also the 3000 or 30,000 Iranian protesters deliberately murdered by their regime.  I’m barely thinking of “old wars,” Russia Ukraine. So much death!  Other GIG terms— soolienensis, feeding the moon—apply, but you will have to check for yourself if you dare.  Does it help to ponder these concepts? Cold comfort, I think.  But…

    In the same pages GIG also says, “Love should predominate always and in everything during the inner and outer functionings evoked by one’s consciousness, such a Love as can arise and be present only in the presences of concentrations formed in the lawful parts of every whole responsible being in whom the hopes of our COMMON FATHER are placed.”

     Lord, l reach out to you for that Love.  Help me see and move correct my wrongness.  IJN

Plenty of snow, more to come

 

On deck this morning 

     Snow is surely one of your greatest gifts, Lord, though we complain and rearrange it and even have some awful accidents in it. For its cleanness, stillness, beauty, I thank you.  For its inconvenience in human plans, I acknowledge that’s our doing, requiring awareness of our need for patience and of our wonderful ability to use “problem” solving skills.  We are such clever little monkeys who must remember that we are yours, not our own 

No pics again

Mt. Rainier, SB pic, yesterday
Surprise! Google is posting them again tonight 

      Feud with sis L over Minneapolis.  Discuss later.   It’s later.  Read my yesterday blog, Bargaining, and you will have the gist of it.  She’s in the opposite camp. Other siblings suffering too, so six phone calls today, mostly devoted to misery and frustration, with a bad weather topper,

      Lord may I endure my suffering and learn its grace.  Send your ministering angels to aid my  loved ones  and this suffering world.

     And thank you for sacred high places, including Mt. Rainier, and bless the friend who shared her picture and the one who sent unsolicited words of comfort.  Thank you for A; minister to his abused sense of self; we know he doesn’t deserve such treatment from one he only loves and supports.  IJN with love

Bargaining?

      

      It’s not that I don’t care about the “good” individuals and families who came into this country illegally. And I truly sorrow to see their images as they are apprehended. It’s that I care how they came into this country illegally in grotesquely unmanageable numbers, that they gobble up material resources of legal citizens, and that they are pawned out as voters to keep petty Hasnamusses in political office, power, and wealth.  

     If I am saying this to to You, God, it can only show me what a fool I am; among a world full of fools.  Today I can not imagine a godly, ideal world, if I ever could, this no matter how many or whose scriptures I take in.  

       My husband reminded me that Thoreau in “Civil Disobedience” (1849) said, paraphrasing, that individuals should indeed follow their conscience, but be prepared to endure the consequences of defiance of law.  MLK and Gandhi followed his lead in their own later civil conflicts.  And I wish more of these modern activists were reading this essay than the “Communist Manifesto”or “The Little Red Book.”

      This is frustration that I would not talk about even on my webinars “Lest ye be judged.”  Practically no one I know agrees with me, but then, I don’t agree with them. I would never say God is on my side, even if they might, if they have God, not just “spirituality.”  This may be my huge sin for all I can surmise, but neither can I be convinced God is on “Their” side.  Pretty sure God does not take sides in horrendous, huge human conflicts, and that’s what makes living through hard times so hard.  This is the suffering I must endure for opposing the opposition.  Feels like a dog chasing its tail.

     I reach up to You and wish for guidance, and thank you for my “white female privilege.”  Not mocking You intentionally; making a joke to myself.  I just can’t believe there is white femaleness or black maleness, rich or poor, smart or stupid, or any human distinctions in Your realm. I can’t guess why my life has been “fortunate” in so many ways.  But I am grateful and mostly because after all my time I still reach out for You. IJN

Lord have mercy

God have mercy That's all I have to say at this moment Therefore, let us go forth into this day with our hearts open, prepared to serve others in love rather than to make bargains for our own good. LvL on ME on merchants in the temple

Coincidence

      Odd that I spoke of change yesterday then so did LdL and RB. Shocks are about change whether short or long term. Received a big shock yesterday with S’s almost spontaneous visit. Effect? Still not sure: embarrassment?  Could have been, but I rejected it.  Now more informed about her 2003 trauma. 

     Felt antsy and off-key in webinar, and that was before she arrived.  Mention of change emphasized our resistance to it.  Plenty of opportunity to affirm that all evening and this morning. 

      I need to stop wishing for things to be different and simply accept what is.  I pray for impartiality. I pray for peace. Abide in me, Lord. IJN

The more they remain the same

 

  Little snow beast Saturday and 1-21-23

       That’s the point of Red’s pics:  The more things change the more they remain the same, goes.  And here’s another example: As soon as I finished this post, I lost it while trying to save it…again.

     

    Lord, change is often a fearsome thing, variations on the same old same old:  Minnesota riots this time; corrupt (Hasnamuss) politicians and office holders; obits of two valued colleagues of A’s in today’s paper; sister D broke her knee yesterday; a month of other repetitive family problems.   There’s my litany of complaints for You today, but it feels ineffective to pray “Help, Lord!”  This is all mechanical suffering, what we bring on ourselves time after time.  But I can pray, help me Work to change my mechanical nature and remain mindful of You.  IJN

 

For the beauty of the sky

Yesterday

Lord of all, to thee we raise,

This our hymn of grateful praise.
 

Definitions are not quite definitive

 

Pike’s Peak, SB photo yesterday 

     God is the mindful, loving awareness of receptive remembering, and whoever lives in this lives in God, and God lives in him.       

                                                                      Meister Eckhart, sermon 5 fr LvL podcast today

     I’m reposting, passing on at least two people’s ideas, in this instance regarding a definition of God.  It’s a very intriguing one to me, too, obviously.  Lord, many of us think of You as our Creator and some even spend considerable energy and thought trying to capture you, ergo definitions and descriptions.  Our aim is to understand and relate to, if not manipulate, You.  We are wondrously made, but I confess that when it comes to You, we are wondrously weak-minded.  Quicken our awareness of Your presence, and that, as we sing in the old hymn, “I need Thee every hour.”  IJN

Adversity and irony

 

Legion Hall and our Civil War Monument, after snow storm yesterday

     I went to church this morning at Redeemer. It’s moving.  The sermon was exceptional. I could write a bunch of adjectives lauding it, but the point is that Pastor JM had thread to the good stuff, the truth, that all people touched by God attempt to share.  Every time I’ve heard him preach, he introduces points I can’t recall hearing before, and I’ve heard a lot of preaching.  E’s music is simple and praiseworthy as well. And the pastor’s wife is a fine, welcoming female spirit as well.  Lord, give them the good harvest and carry their cares as they grow their church and families. IJN

    Today he used the word affliction, and synonyms sprang to mind: friction, pain, suffering. words that denote the tension common to humanity both personally and socialy.  Pointing out their importance, he referred to Job,  Shall we receive good from God but no affliction? And 1 Peter,  as RS says, “it’s a gift:”  how else can we “grow our souls,” our faith?

  

   Reviewing Job:  that’s a scary book. I’ll say no more, because I can’t, no more nor Job. Except, Lord have mercy.

 

   Here’s me being clever:  a reason for affliction, pain, suffering, friction:  conflict. See now my pics and their iron irony (or bronze): cannon outside the Hall where various church services are held and a park memorial soldier with his rifle, a sculpture I happen to like for many reasons:  another conflict!  God have mercy.

   Lastly, three sibling phone calls today, all “mixed blessings.”  Lord, we try to help each other through our respective afflictions, never sure if our counsels or material offerings actually help or hinder. Pour the oil of your love and grace on our attempts I pray.  And the same prayer goes for my husband and children.  We need to know a proper practice of impartiality and to aim for objective reason, but I know I fail,  so sincerely ask Your guidance.  IJN

Day by day

      

Today and yesterday, what a difference in 24

     Weather seems so important to some of us, at least To my husband and me.  LvL reminds me indirectly that sun and planet emanate the energies that create weather, energies that also inform our Being. Thank you, Lord, for Your creations and reminders of You, their source.

     Many neighbors and web friends are traveling this weekend.  For these friends, dear Lord, I pray: Safe journeys, good visits, C, L, S&D, attendees to RS’s GIG birthday celebration. For those of us who stay in place, dear Lord, I pray:  Calm, peace, reflection, connection.  IJN

God have mercy

My drawing, 2-13-17

For despite all of the struggles in the world, 
this day will always be filled with goodness everywhere, 
in every moment, 

flowing into the root of creation, 
emerging here, 
an influence that flows upward 
from the magnetism and gravity of the planet 
into this being, 
and binds me to its purpose and its work. 

            Lee van Lear, Morning Five today

     Lord, I see and feel your grace in my life. I also am torn up by the rioting in this country. It’s hard to see Your goodness flowing or manifesting in that or any of the current wars throughout the world.

     As Gurdjieff says, 

“..:on that strange planet alone in the whole of the Universe does that horrible process occur among three-brained beings which is called the ‘process of the destruction of each other’s existence,’ or, as it is called on that ill-fated planet, ‘war.’ “ BT, chapter XIV.

     This is surely a bigger source of sorrow for You than I can possibly feel. Is your sorrow a source of goodness?  I can only hope so and pray for some good outcome to these conflicts, perhaps that we see You and move closer to You. 

     Forgive us our sins.  IJN

Our father

Stollen, 12-23-23

Our Father, who art in heaven, 

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever  

Amen

The way of the world

Barn swallows at Lee Sunflower Festival last summer. Trogoautoegocrat.  

    

     

       God, walk with us today and every day.  I need you every hour.  IJN

Been there, done that

 

March 2023, returning home 

     All I want to say is, Lord, have mercy. 

If you want to know what love is

 Get a good dog

     GIG says two-brained beings, eg dogs, teach us love.  Thank you, God, for our associations with them; they surely bring us closer to Thee.  Send protectors to rescue suffering animals as well as humans, today and every day, I ask  IJN

Doldrums

 

Couldn’t pass over the ice in the schoolyard

     Bad dream as I awoke, made me think of hallucinations that my schizophrenic dear ones suffer, but I knew mine wasn’t real. Lord, ease the suffering of all with mental dis-ease now and always, I pray.  Lead them to the helpers and treatments they need  IJN

Lucky ducks

 

Yesterday at our Greenway

     Actually Your greenway, and thank you for it.  

     Lord, help us all find our ways. M especially needs help; show us what we can do to help her.

Beautiful

 

Sunset 1-8-2026

    MF sent our group a YouTube link to a Ukrainian Orthodox Christmas service yesterday, and it brought tears to my eyes, so sacred and beautiful.  Their Christmas traditionally falls on January 7, although web sources say it was celebrated December 25 this time.  Here is the link.  I think it was recorded 4 years.

    

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSruhryIEA

 

     Lord, let us link to you as we mingle beautiful and ugly to find our being.  IJN       

Lord have mercy

 

Lewiston on a rainy day, 10-11-18

On the days we weep, Lord, dry our tears.  Not with self comforting, but with moving closer to you. 

What goes around, comes around

 

How did I miss this before Christmas?  So glad it’s still up.

     Aren’t second chances the best?  Big or small.  And JC said forgive seven times seventy. That’s a lot of potential do-overs.  Maybe that’s the point of my dream, yesterday and today:  Back to teaching, this time as an elementary classroom teacher with maybe forty little kids and a head full of ideas but no specific lesson plans.  Felt nervous but eager and dismayed by an enthusiastic parent who seemed kindly intent on taking over before I could get off the mark.  Hmmph!  Felt like “Be patient.  It will work out.”

      Lord, we need help from You to develop our patience.  Help us to see our second chances on all levels.  Awaken our awareness of our relationship to You, to each other.  May we extend kindness and generosity as the continuation of Your desire and will for our actions. IJN

     

Crabcake

Me and the other deplorables lunching at Sam’s yesterday 

     No such luck as crab there, just pizza and hotdog and Dr Pepper for 3.76. Not bad. Red gets most of the wiener.

      So what has this to do with You and me?  It’s my telling crab face. I awoke angry to even consider talking to You this morning. My, aren’t we rebellious, and where’s that going to get us?  Ignore God, and just see how good your life, heck, just your day, will be!  

       I could list situations, events, that landed me in this nasty attitude, but I won’t.  No point.  Free will.

     Let me sincerely pray instead. God, help me out of these doldrums; reach down Your hand, as you did to Peter sinking in the stormy sea.  If discomfort truly helps us grow, as we repeat in our Work groups, Lord, help me see how. And let me fix my eyes on Your eternal light.   IJN

     We all need help.  Lord, have mercy on us all.

Mortality

 

Family picnic, MD, early ‘50s

     I am grateful, Lord, for my natal family and the time and place in which we have grown up together. Two more arrived in the decade after this photo was taken, and we have always loved and supported each other.  What a blessing! Not so many families are given that.  

     We are aging out, rapidly approaching the end of our lifetime together, our parents deceased so many years now I can’t remember.  Go gently with us, Lord, and protect those we leave behind, in family and world.  IJN

Perhaps

 

More moon shots from yesterday 

     Perhaps the moon was a portent, but my prayer had not the result I sought, since death of a person I knew, though not well, occurred last night.  Death feeds the moon, say Gurdjieff followers, and my astrology friend says many people choose the time of the full moon to leave life.  Coincidences like this can surely prompt pondering the nature of death.  And it is no inconsequential exercise to look with compassion at each one we encounter, remembering that we each shall die.

     God, grant each of us peace when we die, and accompany your believers.  IJN

Gurdjieff says in the final two paragraphs of the chapter, “The Result of Impartial Mentation,” in his master work, “All and Everything…” (aka “Beelzebub’s Tales”): 

    The sole means now for the saving of the beings of the planet Earth would

be to implant again into their presences a new organ like kundabuffer, but

this time of such properties that every one of these unfortunates during the

process of existence should constantly sense and be cognizant of the

inevitability of his own death as well as of the death of everyone upon

whom his eyes or attention rests. 

    Only such a sensation and such cognizance can now destroy the

egoism completely crystallized in them that has swallowed up the whole of

their Essence and also that tendency to hate others which flows from it—

the tendency, namely, which engenders all those mutual relationships

existing there, which serve as the chief cause of all their abnormalities

unbecoming to three-brained beings and maleficent for them themselves

and for the whole of the Universe

Portents?

 

Super full moon, actual 1-3-26, 5:02 am; these pics1-2, 4:17 pm just after moonrise over BAM at mall

     Lord, how I am wasting this day, blaming my behavior and choices on cold and ice, sensing only snuffles and stiffness in my joints as I lazily sit minute after minute in this easy? chair, not the healthy body you endow.  I haven’t been willing to talk to You or myself all morning.  I’ve just idled precious moments tapping iPhone keys to order/cancel Apps or Amazon plus the ubiquitous password changes my inefficient memory and notes require.  Is it  Plato’s cave Ocke always reiterates, where chained men face shadows on a wall cast by passersby and think they see real life?  That’s me today. Lord, help me escape my own chains, today and every day. 

     In fact, help us all in the ways each needs help, please, Lord.  Especially today IW.

      And thank you for this amazing universe, as shone in that super moon. IJN

Life class

 

Mine, from life classes, 2013

     Lord, I’m not the best at rendering, but I’m grateful to have had some ability and motivation in that field.  

     To appreciate our gifts and riches, all from you, is good to do at this time of year.

    

      Bless us every one.

Happy New Year

Sunset today after a light snowfall all day

         Lord, I seem to address you each time in this medium with immediate -habitual?- thanks and gratitude.  I’d prefer to be a little more original, as if this is a foolish, habitual attachment to vanity intended simply to please or somehow placate you.  But I feel thankful to you for all of It—all of my life as I live. Still I question, if I describe the impressions of the day now, am I not pleasing my self, my personality, more than considering you?  The question does not mean I will stop the descriptions and wordy gratitude, so habitual request for forgiveness must also ensue.  I am indeed a weak and confused creature!  I need your continuous guidance.

          And I must say truly I thank you for relationships, for all the friends who visited today, and relatives spoken and heard by phone.  Let us all hear you as well as each other every moment.  IJN.

Cyrus and Annamae; she was such a baby then, now both darlings are gone.