Active war coming?

Factory reflecting sunlight yesterday

     Thank you, Lord, for this day and this life.  And for what peace we have.

   A last night mentioned that M, his mom, was picturing Iran, pleasant places; it’s on her mind a lot lately. I never asked where they immigrated from, could be from there.  He looks totally American, is totally caring of his mother . She’s a very quiet and pretty elder who speaks with some kind of accent, which I guessed might be Cuban when I wondered at all about their country of origin years ago.  But  his reference to Iran surprised me in that “astral traveling” setting at PSC last night,  because l’m worried about a war with US, too. It seems inevitable, maybe necessary, with US promises to defend the anti-regime protesters.  That’s a promise I think should be kept, with too many executed Iranians already. But who wants war? 

    

    I don’t think you dabble in wars, but I must pray, God help us, Lord have mercy. 

     An hour after I wrote this, A told turn on the TV, the war has started. 

Awake or asleep

 

Daylight moon yesterday 2:28 pm

     Orage psychological essay number eight asks, “Are We Awake?” as presented today in Lee’s substack, Journal of Gurdjieff studies. It’s a major premise of GIG and, as O explains, many religions, especially Christianity. “Ye must be born again.”   It prompted me to ask, Am I afraid to awaken?  I hate to admit, but probably yes, at least most of the time.

      And now to pray, Lord have mercy, lift my fear.  I believe; help thou my unbelief. IJN

Borrowed words

 

My shadow and my joy, 2-16

“If you want to find Joy, you must first of all be generous towards it. And second, you should do everything you can to help it sneak up on you, because if you demand its presence or look for it yourself, you will never find it anywhere.”                                                                                        Z,Y,G: Lee’s Gurdjieff Newsletter Substack, 2-24-26

     I use other people’s words because they comfort me and because some people are more certain than I am. 

      Lord help us all IJN

Dullard

 

St Hyacinth, across the river

    That’s me today and lately.  I dread even the idea of doing anything.  My tank is empty this morning, Lord help me. 

   Good webinar tonight, wiping out my dread.  RB maintains “Let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” refers strictly to personality and essence, not impartiality, as I queried. I’m still attached to impartiality.

     Love me some Jesus tonight.

     Don’t know what’s up in Cols, out of the loop and their lives are no longer my business. But Lord bless and protect and prosper all of them, especially C and L on her birthday.  Bless the memories of M and C. IJN

     

     

Robin posts

 

An Image of Christ

Christ and the Compression of Time

by Robin Bloor | Feb 23, 2026 | Readings, The Lost Herald

Perceive how Christ reversed time.

The Body.

Man falls through time, slowly at first, each minute, each day, each month brimming with change: then faster and faster, till the years flash by indistinguishable, empty of all experience.

The Spirit.

Thirty years Jesus grew, studied, learned, foresaw.

Three years Christ ministered—what teachings, healings, miracles, communion with the multitude, preparation of his disciples!

Three months from the going up to Jerusalem until the end—faster, faster matter is stirred, tighter, tighter is time compressed.

Three days of his passion: each minute, each second intent with agony and creation.

Three hours upon the cross—“And behold, the veil of the temple was split in twain”.

Time split. Past, present, above and below were fused. A

nd in those hours a whole great age of man’s development was formed.

This is regeneration. The reversal of time.

From slow to faster, more potent, dazzling, vertiginous, unbearable. Crack!

Ecstasy. God.

 I did not ask to use this. I will take it down if Robin objects.  If anyone ever reads it besides me here, Which I wish would happen .  

This is issue 48 oh The Lost Herald, and he opens with a description of a rare “conjunction of conjunctions,” i.e. 2-20-26, 11:52 am, astrological conjunction of Neptune and Saturn at 0° in Aries,”the very beginning of the zodiac.” Last one 1989 (fall of Berlin wall), previous 1702 and 7000 bce.

Add in February 17 Chinese new year of the Fire horse, February 18 Lent started, and Ramadan, February 17 June 19 starts depending on location. 

 

Well, that  explains a lot!

Also in February, we published a new book by Rodney Collin, a collection of his writings entitled The Mirror of Light and Other 

Nor’easter

 

3:30 PM yesterday

 

18 hours later

11 am, mostly horizontal snow, close to white out

     So we will all sit it out, listening to the wind howl and hoping we don’t lose power.  Snowfall is picking up, hiding the neighbors in a veil of fine white particles.  Good time is thus provided to do our inner work.  Calm.

    Lord protect us all from this weather, especially the exposed animals and people; shelter them I pray. And thank you for the stillness it brings us.  IJN

    Exasperation, I suppose, prompted me to break into what sounded to me like webinar cacophony with, “I’m not on the essence train tonight. We talk about essence and personality all the time.”  I asked, maybe demanded, subject change. 

     On pondering, I sense that too many words attempt to dissect and thereby kill essence. lt would serve us better to open quietly to this precious substance than to analyze and compare it.  Sense it together, then simply say amen. Repeat as needed to approach comprehension, lest we beat it to death with words intended to display our own wisdom .

   "When I have true joy, when neither pain nor sorrow can take it from me, then I am installed in the divine essence where sorrow has no place. 

     For we see that in God there is no anger or sadness, but only love and joy. Though he seems sometimes to be wrathful with sinners, it is not really wrath. It is love, for it comes from the great divine love. Those he loves he chastens, for he is love, which is the Holy Ghost.”

  Meister Eckhart, sermon 7, Quoted by Lee van Lear, Substack, Inner Christianity 2-20-26

Sunday

Taos Pueblo, 4-3-2017

 “ Lord, I call to thee from the depths of mine iniquity.

I have not delivered myself sufficiently unto thee. 

I know not how.”

Water under the . . .

So that’s where the ducks go in the cold: 

Under the bridge

     I missed an opportunity to do a good deed today, and I am kicking myself in the pants for it, or in Work terms, I am feeling remorse of conscience. I feel like those urges and opportunities are tasks brought by angels for me to do.  But I fail, not infrequently, and can offer no excuses for my failures, only prayers that more will come which I will not miss them.  For the times I answer those calls to kindness, I am grateful.

     I was in the pharmacy, paying for a very expensive prescription, and the man next to me could not pay for his. I wanted to offer to pay for it, but kept quiet for what seemed like sensible reasons, like not invading his privacy and not knowing the price.  He left. Then I got into a detailed conversation with the pharmacy clerk an about mutual funds and saving money, not because of the man’s situation, but because of the expensiveness of my own prescription.  The young man seemed genuinely grateful for the information I was offering,  but it wasn’t the good deed I would have preferred, especially since i thought, hope he nor possible eavesdroppers were scoping out old ladies to rob. I was judging him: he had a black eye and tattoos and was very thin. So there’s another good intention spoiled by internal considering. God forgive me. Lord have mercy. IJN

     

     Lord bless those whom I wrong misjudge.  Lord bless those I love. Lord bless this country. Lord help this world.  Lord keep green the memories of my parents and ancestors and in-laws. IJN 

Blessing

 

Blue Rock Quarry 2-28/26

     My friend in Canada is named Blessing, and he truly is one. Such a help to my state of mind and in Work. Thank You, Adonai, for such a friend.

    And thank you that the NM CT showed no evidence of the heart disease I was being tested for. Help me manage the two conditions revealed.  IJN

Not again

 

Empty nest, Yesterday in the park

     So I created another argument in webinar last night, this time rudely, insistently interrupting the nonstop essence talkers.  S hung up, after calling me a bookworm, as if to insult.  

     That’s three times this month I’ve made people dislike me. I’m not liking myself. I must be doing something wrong, which might prove to be movement towards the desired “goal” of objective conscience.  My discomfort shows me I ain’t got that and that I’m not indifferent as I wish I was, should be.  

         Am I starving among my people? I sense that I want to cast them all aside, as my gal S has done, find some agreeable friends who like and. respect me. Am I being egocentric or truly not receiving what feeds my trogoautoegocratic process?  I possibly could be suffering à la Parktdolg duty, which may coat the kjb, but it’s rough.  

     Thus do I dare ask you to rescue me,  Lord, like Peter or Jonah, from sinking in this dark, tumultuous sea of self?  Lord have mercy.  Especially if these “lessons,” this friction, is my medicine. IJN

New lenses

Reflection close-up, Monday

     How can they not know they are rich?  You said let those who have eyes see. You did not say those who see will feel dismay when others don’t see.  Human consternation is not your problem, however, and therefore I should give it up. Money is indeed the root of evil, if evil exists. If it doesn’t, money is at least the root of all our flights over power, over who rules whom, over has and has not.  That’s my take away from the Monday night webinar exchange, and why we never see eye to eye or tolerate the possibility of our own blindness.  

     Relinquishing this “wise” impression is so difficult, though I acknowledge it’s only a vanity -certainty that I know best- that separates me from Objective Reason and, that untrusted word, Joy.  Someone wiser said this week, let nothing stand between you and the joy of living. That makes the most sense to me.  

     Would it be sacrilegious or impudent or merely playful to nickname you Joy, Lord?  Do you have enough names already?

     Lord of joy, I am truly grateful for the material position I enjoy in this life.  Send your angels to take the scales from all our eyes.  Thank you. IJN

     

Trail redux

 

Moose tracks?  They area big hoof prints

We  smell something interesting. Let’s roll in it

Do I smell like it now?

My mother was right. Silence is golden.

High places

 

Little Kennesaw Mountain from big Kennesaw 4-3-14

High places are sacred places

One of my favorite places of my whole life

     Gird your loins, Nita used to say frequently. I miss her and Diane W, friends who have gone before me. I do so little these days; they helped me stay involved in life. And I am grateful for C who does the same with her daily visits in this last year or more.

     Lord I used to think I was good at making friends, but I don’t make efforts lately. I’ve stopped, eg, going or caring to go the RB church since cold snap, and I’m skipping PSC Friday encounters with live people; then there’s the rift with sis L.  No excuses. Just no interest. I should pray, help me change but not sure I want to.

     I will pray bless the ones who still live in my thoughts in all the ways you will. And forgive us all our debts as we forgive our debtors.  IJN

     Lee, quoting Orage, on learning to observe:

     “ It is desirable, to begin with, to have a few categories or questions into which to pour one’s observations. Let us choose the following: origin, history, relations, use and future.”

     “ At first, not only will you discover, to your surprise, both how much you know and how much you do not know, but the difference in feeling between observing, thinking, remembering, reasoning, imagination and fancy.”

Shadows

 

Yesterday

               When I walk, let me walk close to thee.

     Words fail me. Nothing to say:  to anybody about anything. Stillness or sleep or depression?  So I thought I was dis’d at a webinar last weekend developed a slow burn over a few days. Then it occurred to me that I’m reallyangry at myself for being truly speechless at these talk fests.

     I make no efforts , let alone super efforts.  Drowning in TV., that is, sleep. I know it changes my brain.  And so much real sleep. Lord help me live my life .  And I hear a similar malaise in I’s lyrics.  Lord heal his malaise. Guide him. IJN

Valentines

Thanks to festive neighbors 

Their displays are received by me as an act of love

God bless them

 

Today

 

View from Intermed yesterday

     Slept too much today. Did you get my walk in .  No inner work, no willingness. Really stupid dream about rap, singer, and sister D, hotel and spa.

Metanoia

Deer tracks?

       I ran hard and fast from D’s question last night, what is spirituality?  Well, I don’t like the word; seems so empty and noncommittal to me.  Our discussion connects to another D’s Monday reminder, (paraphrasing) happy is he who believes, happy is he who does not believe, woe to him in the middle.  Another pertinent aphorism came up yesterday, pouring from the empty into the void. 

       Our “conclusion” regarding the S question:  in Work, all is material, including God, the Absolute. So “an angel is a gd angel.”  Spirit is vibration, energy, electro/magnetic in the electric universe which has changed everything.  You have to grasp the Ray of Creation. And BP reminded us, spirit is breath, that which is inspired.

        This morning Lee vL posts Meister Eckhart sermon 7 wherein 

          “So that nothing remains be hidden in God that is not revealed to me, there must appear to me nothing like God, no form, for no form can reveal God’s nature or essence. So far as image or form remains, one will never be one with God. To be one with God, there must be no thing imagined or brought forth, so that nothing is hidden within being, that is not seen and at once cast out”

       Then Lee concludes, 

    “And above all, perhaps this particular passage reminds me of my own teacher, Betty Brown, who said to me near the end of her life, in a loving and confidential way—as she always did—

The things that we love the most are the first things that have got to go. 

Can I let myself go? 

Everything? 

This is a daunting prospect, and yet we are called to do so. 

For in the face of the Lord we are less than nothing, and all things we can know or might know become glory in that light. 

In Christ’s name we pray. 

Amen. 

Amen. 

Amen.”

    I announced about spirituality last night, I haven’t written that book yet, and all I can say is what others have already said.  (God help me. IJN)

     This is what it feels like not to know, not to trust self. Can’t then allow self to trust God but must plead frantically for presence of Holy Spirit to fill the void. I’m falling between the stools.

      If I see that’s where I am, then hope for change arises.  God help me.  Lord have mercy.

     

Help, Lord

Fresh snow last night

     Lord help us all. We need You, I suppose what I would tell myself is a working version of You. One I seemed to know well in youth and One solidified, to me, at least, in Lee vL’s post anyways. 

       I am not being my best self, and that makes me want to run to You, especially the You I think I used to know.   That may be a good thing, leading me to rely on You, my traditional You. To give up what I think I have learned about You and me?  Am I the Rich Young Man, told to give up all he owns and simply follow, only to turn away sorrowing, unwilling?  You don’t force us, we can only choose.  I guess I’m surprised at the number of times the choice comes up in a life. Which tells me it was likely never, yes, Lord.

Real self remembering

 

5-9-25 a worthy memory 

   Thank you, Lord for color and warmth remembered in cold and snow.

     Thanks for SB’s teasing, tempting Fla pix. I’ll post some tomorrow. The variety of  Your world is such a pleasure to your creatures. You do good work 😉

      I wish a closer walk with Thee.  I wish a healthy outlook for us all. IJN

      

1. I am weak, but Thou art strong;
   Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
   I’ll be satisfied as long
   As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.
   • Refrain:
     Just a closer walk with Thee,
     Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
     Daily walking close to Thee,
     Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
2. Through this world of toil and snares,
   If I falter, Lord, who cares?
   Who with me my burden shares?
   None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.
3. When my feeble life is o’er,
   Time for me will be no more;
   Guide me gently, safely o’er
   To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.
4.                  Anonymous 

Favorite people

 

A most beloved 6ft boy at a fave place, 

Harris Shoals Park, 9-14-25

     Lord, I can’t know if this was one of the last times I will have ever seen a special needs darling who claimed a piece of my heart nearly twenty years ago. He has rolled through those years without  seeming to register his losses, eg his mother, or barely his helpmeets, father excepted. I can see no ways to support him personally in the future, so I must turn him over to his fate and to You. Obviously I don’t think that’s sure enough. Where is my faith for this? 

      I had intended to pray IJN, Send Your guardian angel bands to protect him daily through his whole life, to minimize his emotional pain and all suffering which I assume he cannot understand or grow from. I do pray that, for him, and for non blood others like him. And for those in and out of my family who suffer particularly from mental illness.

      

        My prayer must also be for me for that one to have any hope of going “past the ceiling.”  Lord, today I perceive my sin of small faith in You and Your ways.  I confess my sin and pray, Lord, help my unbelief.

     And as I contemplate this prayer, I see I am saying, Absolute, send the supernatural to rescue us 3BBeings from the fact and destiny of our suffering, contrary to the laws of nature and existence.  Not gonna happen. You can’t break Your own laws, which we may not understand or agree with.  That’s GIG’s teaching, which I accept. Most days. Until I ask for exceptions.  Maybe that’s a conundrum of faith. Perhaps it’s a source of the Sorrow of the Absolute.  I do not understand You. Lord, have mercy.  Help my unbelief.

Best part of winter

 

Citrus in sunshine, today

     And the last big football game of the season.  Wouldn’t be right to ask for you and the angels to support the Patties, I suppose😉. Halftime now and it’s 9 to 0.  Looks like they could use some divine intervention, if  not citrus fruit. Guess I should pray for you to forgive my sense of humor, but don’t hold it against them, Lord.

     Seriously, Lord intervene in the suffering of this world.  Especially send your guardians to help those unsheltered in the frigid nights and days of this winter.

        Bless my loved ones and me with health, love, and purposeful lives.  IJN

So much time wasted

Fashionista yesterday

      No  inner work, no time for God today.  All spent on TV and YouTube shorts. Yes I’m kicking my own pants and muttering empty repetitions of Lord forgive me.  Didn’t exercise Red or myself enough today either. I will pray, God help me wake up and do better tomorrow. IJzN

More sun

 

Behind the post office, by the river, 2-4, 12:40 pm

      Pleasant winter days all week now. Thank you, Lord. Your creation lifts my spirits. And keeps me walking, which is the only exercise I take these days.

     Bless my tribe with prosperity and health, love and calm.  IJN

Beauty

 

Manhole cover: Modern day rosette

     “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” What a surprise, even a shock, to see it in the weather damaged asphalt during a pleasant winter day’s dog walk on our own street.  This dirty, worn shape raised associations with magnificent Cathedrals and their sacred, colorful windows and thereby You.  Never know where God will show up in my life—not only in reading, people, meditation, prayer, scenic nature. I am thankful, Lord, that you gave me eyes to see.

Blending in

  

3:30 shadows, 2-5-25, dear buddies 

     Only show what you wish of yourself; use shadows to conceal the rest.  And do the same within yourself. But it is said alll is lit-light- in God’s sight. Somehow I-we-can and like to ignore that. Hence the sorrow of God and most of our own.  It’s an honesty thing, isn’t it?  Or Kundabuffer in action, in GIG terms.

     Lord, have mercy.  Lord forgive our weakness.  Be our strength every passing hour.  IJN

On webinar last night, RS forwarded this, and I wish to remember and ponder it, so record it here

From Elizabeth

But to me, remembering myself
In that particular way.
I'm thinking of the essential self.
But from my own personal understanding,
Where it is at this…
state, um…
The essential part of myself, the animating part,
is actually…
a part of the divine.
inseparable from every other…
Every other animated part of the universe.
And so, therefore, it's not separate.
So, if I can remember myself…
I believe that striving is to find
that essential spark in me that is…
in everyone.
And it's… it's possible…
different from…
from, uh…
From what that statement is supposed to mean, but…
At this present time, that's the way I take it.

Years flew past

 

Pictures remember for us in our era

Lord, I am grateful for my grandson, even if he never calls me back. He has no clue that i know I may never see him again, given my age and distance, nor that he  may ever see me again; if it matters to him, which I can’t tell at this point in life, although I mattered a lot at that point when he’s on the swing. There was certainly love then.  Thank you, Lord for that childhood love.

Our brother’s keeper?

 

2-26/23, going to GA

     Here’s an elevated view of Maine snow. I may want to deny it, but it’s deep and cold here every February, as my iPhone photos confirm.  No wonder I eat so much chocolate in winter!  Reviewing the pics reminds me I’m so grateful we’re out of the Covid years; it’s harsh enough being shut in by the cold.  But I stay in voluntarily, dreading and listening to strong wind gusts in near zero temps.

    The enforced isolation of Covid changed all cultures, all people for the worse.  Without rationalizing further, I think it may be a sinister and now subconscious motivation for the fearful factionalism that drives the irrational destructiveness of the world that is now loosed in the nation and the world.  And don’t anyone dare let TDS make a scapegoat of one man.  That unthinking simplified blame reaps violence and uglier divisions.  Will we ever strive for Unitas and peace again?  Will we prefer to drop food off at food banks and blankets at shelters instead of milling around town streets and disturbing the peace to harass the  police or worse?

    Lord, I want to pray to You, “Help the homeless, especially in these times, and I’m not referring only to unknown street people.”  But will You move for them if I don’t?  I’m asking You to do what I’m not willing to do personally.  That surely is double sin, and I feel guilt, but not enough yet to leave the house.  So how or what can I pray when I’m failing to do the good I know I should? Jesus, help me not to try to justify my failures. Mediator, help the physically needy and the emo-mentally needy since I so easily dismiss them, at least until I “screw (my) courage to the sticking place.”

          And I know it may not be how You work, but, Lord, shift us to center and quiet caring, quickly away from “the chief peculiarity of the psyche of your favorites, namely, the ‘periodic-need-to-destroy-the-existence-of-others-like-oneself…’”.  (BT, p. 318). IJN